Manner of Life
by HelliesWorld
Summary: Edward and Bella have this connection, a bond that won't break. It doesn't fit into the lives they lead, and it may never...
1. Chapter 1

**I'm going to say it now; this story is not for the faint of heart. **

**It may not have a HEA. There will be loads of heartbreak and you will hate Bella at some point and Edward at some point – OR maybe just hate them the whole time!**

**I've always wanted to do a love story (****_love stories don't always have happy endings_****), the kind of love story that lasts literally a life time between two people. That love, when it actually hurts, when you wonder, why are you even in love? Twilight was sort of like that in the sense that it literally hurt Bella killed her when she was away from Edward. **

**I also really like the idea of a young girl with an older (****_not in a creepy way_****) man. **

**OKAY to break down, heartache, abuse – both mental and sexual, longing, not liking Bella/Edward/his father.**

**I think it will be good though if you like all that – I hope you like it!**

**I'm pretty meticulous with my dates, ages and times etc so I keep a separate word doc with all that information on it. **

**But sit back and enjoy if you want!**

**AND that was long!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing...still, certainly not Twilight or Edward, Bella and co. Just wanted to say that! **

* * *

**Manner of Life**

**Chapter 1**

**July 1991**

**Bella is 7 ½ **

**Edward is 13**

Bella sits next to her father; his mustache is twitching which means he is thinking really hard about something. She knows what he is thinking. He is nervous and worried about this trip, and new job. Bella leans in close and whispers. "Don't worry Daddy it will be fine." She kisses his arm and rests her head on his warm body.

Today was exciting neither had ever been on a plane before this morning. The flight was long, Bella was good. She is always such a good girl. Always has been.

Charlie smiles at her downy brown hair and leans down and kisses the top of her head.

"I'm really excited." She grins up at him. She can't contain her excitement even though she knows this is a big step for both of them.

"I know you are Bells, but we need to remember that I am here for work, it is a job." He reminds her because this is such a great chance, for himself and of course for his Bella. He would do anything for her. When his beautiful amazing wife, Renee was killed two years ago he wasn't sure either of them would make it. But Bella, she is such a sprit and a light; she pulled both of them through. This door opened and he took a chance and is now walking through it with his little girl by his side.

Forks' is amazing, was amazing for them, at the time but they needed a change. They needed more. He needed to give Bella more. He knows this is the step in the right direction for the pair of them. She will go to a better school, live in a beautiful home, and grow up with greater opportunities than what he could offer her back in Forks. New York State was the right choice for her. Taking this job was the right choice for her. Everything is about his little girl.

* * *

She wakes up and moans softly, her eyes becoming adjusted to the bright sky outside. Even in the sleek back car with the tinted windows it is really bright. "Are we there yet?"

Before Charlie can answer, Felix the driver does so. "Almost little lady."

Bella covers her mouth and giggles before looking up at her father.

"Felix here doesn't know you yet Bells; my Bella is not even close to a little lady." Charlie grins when Bella frowns next to him.

"Am too!" She argues jutting her lower lip in a pout.

Charlie smiles and flicks her jutting lip adding a wink for good measure.

* * *

"Edward, Edward?"

Looking up from the piano, his fingers freeze. "In here mother" He calls out.

Esme sweeps into the large music room. "I thought I heard you" She smiles, walking over Esme brushes the wild hair from her son's brow. "The new handyman will be here shortly dear, why don't you go get cleaned up and meet them with your father and me?"

Nodding he stares up at his mother. She is stunning, youthful, but sad behind her eyes. She is Esme Elizabeth Anne Platt-Masen. A real life socialite, she came from money and married more money. So many women not in her social circle envy her. If they really knew how life is for her they wouldn't be so envious.

Esme is no longer married to the love of her life; years ago she thought Edward Charles Evenson Masen was the real live love of her life. He just isn't, she was wrong.

Edward knows that his mother is only with his father for appearances. Her parents would most likely disown her if she divorced the wonder Edward Masen Sr. He knows she is only with his father because of him, to give him any and everything he needs. Unfortunately money can only buy things, neither of them really live; they just exist in what appears to be a perfect world.

"I'm excited are you?" Charlie Swan has a daughter. She has longed for another child for years. Edward just turned 13, she is not yet 35, yet she can't seem to get pregnant again.

"I guess." He shrugs.

"Well, your father will be home soon to meet the new family" Esme informs her son. "And you know how he likes your hair" Esme whispers the end, she hates comments like that. Edward's life is riddled with them mostly coming from Edward Sr.

"I'll fix myself up" He stands and moves around the bench. Leaning in he kisses her cheeks.

Esme stares after her son. He is such an old soul. His eyes look as heavy as hers feel, the mask that she has to wear daily is wearing her down. It is taking a toll on Edward as well. Esme drops her face in her palms and holds her sobs at bay…she has perfected her perfect life.

* * *

Edward slicks his hair back like his father likes. He is going to walk in his father's footsteps one day; he doesn't really have a choice in the matter. He will be a savvy business man in a smart suit, with smart hair. Edward pulls his locks because they refuse to cooperate. They never cooperate. He feels completely bound when his hair is like this.

He does it because it keeps his father happy, which makes his mother happy. Edward stares at himself in the mirror. Dropping his head he looks at his hands. There are still a few stains from his paints on there. He smiles because the piano and paints are his escape. Even when his hair is binding him, he can see the paint stains and feel free.

* * *

"Oh my gosh, Daddy do you see it?" Bella presses her forehead to the glass as her eyes widen. Her small hands are pressed on the glass making finger marks there. She watches the green land race by her as they fly down the drive towards the house…no the mansion.

"Welcome to Platt Manor" Felix smiles.

Bella's eyes widen. "It's so big." She licks her lips.

"60 acres" Felix says with a nod. His eyes meet Charlie's wide ones in the back seat. "Not to worry Charlie, Mrs. Masen is a reasonable woman she will just expect it to be 80 percent perfect."

Charlie frowns at Felix who gives him a winning smile. He can see Felix becoming a good friend in the future.

The sleek car slows to a stop in front of the Manor. Bella is out before Felix has a chance to open the door.

She skips around the car and stands before the house looking up. "It is so big"

Charlie clears his throat and scoops her into his arms. "Bella listen to me," He says his voice soft yet firm. He wants to be clear. He wants her to understand.

Bella's large brown eyes widen as she sits in her father's arms and waits for him to continue.

"This job is very important Bella; I want you to be on your best behavior sweetie,"

"I will" Bella nods quickly. Her tiny hand lightly rubs her father's ear lobe giving him comfort.

Charlie smiles and turns his face into her palm, but he gets her forearm. "I love you,"

Bella smiles and hugs him tightly around his neck. "I'll be a good girl." She promises.

"I know you will, I know." He holds her even more tightly back. He is so lucky the Masen's have pulled strings to get Bella into the private school their own child attends. Mrs. Masen was insistent that they do this for his little daughter. The woman seemed very eager to meet little Isabella Swan. He wants Bella to make a good impression, they are both getting a great opportunity with this move and job, and of course Bella getting a better start in a top school.

"Oh my goodness, you must be Charlie" Esme smiles sweeping into the drive of her home.

Charlie smiles and nods his head; he bows a bit unsure of what to do. The woman is young and graceful, completely elegant. "Yes, lovely to finally meet you"

"It feels like we know each other" Esme smiles. "We have spoken over the phone for what seems like ages" She is speaking to Charlie Swan but her eyes are on the little beauty in his arms. "Isabella"

Bella looks down at the woman. "Are you a princess?"

"No" Esme laughs and shakes her head; she reaches out and touches the little girl's arm. "I'm not, but you certainly look like one."

Bella smiles showing off a few missing teeth. "Are there any kids around here?" Bella questions, she would love to make some friends in her new home.

Esme beams. "I have a son, and Sue well…"

"Oh" Bella interrupts as she struggles to get down. "And we are going to school together right; we can play together and read together, right?"

Esme touches her cheek. Her skin is not sun kissed at all. The little girl is full of life and sweet energy.

"Bells" Charlie says in 'that' tone.

Bella humpfs a bit and scowls, giving her father the side eye.

Laughing lightly she shrugs at Charlie. Fully understanding the little girls' eagerness. "He is a bit older I don't think 'playing' is on his list of things to do unfortunately"

"Oh" Her little mouth puckers in an 'o' shape as she thinks. "But maybe…"

"Maybe he will" Esme nods firmly. "He will be down shortly, or should be. Felix the bags please to the cottage."

"Right away Ma'ma." Felix gets back into the car and drives towards the cottage.

Charlie looks confused.

"He will deliver your bags and things to the cottage, it is on the other side of the property" Esme explains. "It is a bit of a distance to walk" She turns. "Join me in the house."

Charlie takes Bella's hand and follows Mrs. Masen.

* * *

Edward sits in the library reading his favorite book of all time. His hair was just playing up so he gave up. If his father sees it he won't hear the end of it. Hiding away is for the best.

* * *

"I don't know where my son got off too, Sue, this is Charles Swan and his lovely daughter Isabella."

Sue smiles at the pair. "Tea is ready in the drawing room Mrs. Masen"

"Wonderful, thank you Sue, Sue can you please give little Isabella some milk and cookies while I speak to Charlie about, well everything?"

"Of course, Isabella?" Sue bends a bit and offers her hand to the little girl.

Bella looks up at her father for reassurance, when she gets the nod she skips away from her father and over to Sue. "Are they chocolate chip cookies?"

"No but shall we make some?"

Esme smiles brightly. "She will be fine." She says to Charlie as he stares at his little girl heading off with Sue.

* * *

Edward Masen Sr parks his car in the garage and gets out. He heads into his home.

"Good evening Mr. Masen" Patricia greets holding the small silver tray with his scotch on the rocks.

"Is it?" He wonders aloud. His voice calm but full of another tone, it makes people uneasy. He uses it as power.

The unknown tone makes the servants shiver. Patricia says nothing and turns heading to the kitchen, her job done for the night.

Edward Sr. sips his scotch as he stands in the grand entrance hall for a moment. He looks around at this home, this very stately home. He has built such a life for himself. This is Platt Manor in name but when people come here to be entertained it is all Masen.

* * *

"He is home and in a mood" Patricia hisses to Sue as she continues to make cookies with the new care takers daughter.

"Isn't he always?" Sue rolls her eyes.

"Yes, but if he comes in here and sees her and this mess and his steak not done it will be worse"

Sue sighs and looks at Bella, she insisted on being called Bella as 'ALL her friends do'. But then she remembered she doesn't have any friends here in New York. But she will make some at school, so until then Sue and Patricia will be her friends.

Bella is using two spoons to drop the cookie dough on the tray while her little pink tongue sticking out with concentration.

"Bella sweetie, shall I finish up and we can get you cleaned up and head to your daddy?"

"Okay Sue." Bella drops the cookie dough before looking up and smiling brightly.

* * *

"It will be good Mr. Masen." Charlie confirms.

"It better be, I'm paying out the ass for you and your little girl to be here, so it better be."

Charlie clears his throat and nods his head quickly.

Esme's cheeks fill with colour from embarrassment at her husband's tone and words. "Darling, I think Charlie should take Isabella to the cottage so they can get settled in for the night, it has been a long trip for them."

Edward Sr nods in agreement. "Where is the little girl?"

"Isabella" Esme says her name purposely. "Is making cookies with Sue in the kitchen."

Edward looks at his wife. "Call them in; I would like to meet the little girl whose education I will be funding"

Esme keeps her jaw tight and her face free of emotions. "Of course." She glances at Charlie who looks as though he is ready to take his daughter and run far away from her husband.

* * *

Sue holds Bella's hand as they enter the drawing room together. "Good evening Mr. Masen." Sue greets with a smile.

Bella looks wide eyed.

Edward Sr. frowns at Sue. "Is my steak ready?"

"Of course sir, the table is ready." Sue smiles, she touches Bella's head before glancing at Mrs. Masen and heading out.

"Isabella dear," Esme starts. "This is my husband Mr. Masen"

Bella looks at her father. She is not a shy child but she knows her father has final say in what she does. She respects him and wants him to guide her.

Charlie nods lightly watching his daughter.

"Hello Mr. Masen, your home is so pretty,"

Edward Sr. smiles. "Do you really think so?"

"Oh yes, the garden, and trees," Her eyes widen as she speaks. "I love it so much already."

Charlie smiles with pride, his Bells can work a room. All the comments and the tone of Edward Masen Sr. his dispersed from his mind currently, but not forgotten. But his little girl is in the room is all that matters now.

"Are you smart then?"

"Of course I'm smart,"

"You know the school you are going to is hard,"

"I'm smart."

Edward Sr. smiles. "Good to hear."

* * *

**I've not forgotten my other stories, this one has just been weighing on my mind. AND I'm off for four days so lets see if I can move my butt on the others eh?!**

**Originally the title was/is Manor of Life...I liked the 'play' on words I guess. But I changed it because I'm not sure others would really appreciate it. ANYWAYs it is saved as Manor of Life :) So I still kept it...sort of! **


	2. Chapter 2

**4 reviews *fist pump* on a roll now! ~ Thank you reviewers!**

**Little Bella is sweetie indeed. Edward Sr. is not!**

**Hope you enjoy their 1st meeting**

* * *

**Manner of Life**

**Chapter 2**

**July 1991**

**Bella is 7 ½ **

**Edward is 13**

Bella creeps around the huge house. Her tiny feet tip toe down long halls that are dressed in heavy curtains. Moving along she pushes a large door open. Her Daddy is working around the grounds and told her to stay out fo trouble. Which is exactly what she is doing. Her head pokes into the room. Empty. Pushing the door open she whips around hearing a noise behind her.

Mr. Masen went to work in the city. Mrs. Masen is in at lunch, Sue is in the kitchen she thinks, Patricia is with her, Felix is with Mrs. Masen. She heard about Sue's son Jacob but hasn't seen him around yet. She hasn't met Mrs. Masen's son either. His name is Edward like his father. She finds that completely crazy. Wrinkling her nose for a moment at the thought.

"Wow!" She whispers. Books, books are everywhere in the room. "Oh my golly gosh." Her hand covers her pink lip to hide her excitement. Her little feet bounce up and down as she tries to control herself. "So many" She whispers. Moving over to the closest…wall of books she lets her hand stroke the spines.

Ever since she learnt to read she has wanted to read everything. Her favorite is what her mother used to read to her. The Hobbit.

"I wouldn't touch those if I were you,"

Bella whips her head around.

"I was just looking," Bella defends herself. She didn't even hear him come into the room. But she didn't shut the door either. "Who are you?"

"Jacob, Sue is my mom."

Bella squints her eyes at him then smiles. "I'm Bella."

"I know I have been following you, my mom told me to keep you out of trouble,"

Bella crosses her arms and glares at him. "I am not a baby,"

"What are you five?" Jacob laughs knowing full well how old she is.

"7, 7 and a half" She shouts at him.

"I was kidding, I'm 11 so I'm practically a grown up, my mom sent me to make sure you stay out of trouble, like I said."

"I'm not a baby," Bella smiles. "Like I said." She mocks.

Jacob smiles and arches an eyebrow up at her. "Wanna play?"

"Okay." She smiles happily. The books are not forgotten, but they are currently on hold now. She has her first friend.

* * *

Jacob watches her and smiles as he lies on the grassy bank.

"Are these flowers here all the time?" Bella questions softly bending to pick on. The purple flowers are wild. She loves purple, this place is perfect. And there is a lake, a huge lake. "Do you swim in that?"

Jacob says nothing; he sees she is a talker, so he lets her have the floor…or the grass.

"Well do you?" She turns around and looks at him.

"Oh you wanted me to speak?" He smiles.

Bella grins. "I know I talk a lot my mommy used to tell me all the time, I remember that about her" Bella says wistfully towards the lake.

"I don't remember by dad at all," Jacob confesses. "He ran off when I was a baby, just been me and my mom here at Platt Manor."

Bella turns and walks towards where he is lounging on the grass. "Have you lived here your whole life?"

"Yup, since I can remember," Jacob nods.

"Do you play with Mr. and Mrs. Masen's son?" She still hasn't met the kid, it has been two days. The house is big that could be the reason, she thinks as she nibbles her lower lip.

"No, and you won't either." Jacob tells her firmly.

"But why?" Bella frowns her nose twitching.

"Because kids like him don't hang out with kids like us."

"Like us?" She says wondering what he is talking about. "We are just kids."

"He is a rich kid, goes to a fancy school,"

"I'm going to go to that school too." Bella cuts him off.

Jacob looks at her. "Well you're still a kid like me, not like Masen."

"Edward you mean?"

"Yeah whatever, he is a snob,"

"What is that?" Bella questions with wonder, her eyes large waiting for the answer.

Jacob laughs. "He spoiled rich boy, doesn't speak to me, I don't speak to him, it is just the way it is, always has been, just stay away from him, you can't be friends."

"But I'm nice,"

"Yeah," Jacob laughs before shutting his eyes and laying back, his hands go behind his head to cushion it on the soft grass. "You're nice, but you can't be friends." He knows this; it's just the way things are. He came to live at Platt Manor when he was a baby and has never played with or held a real conversation with the young Edward Masen.

Bella looks at Jacob and frowns. He looks like he is asleep, she thinks he is crazy. She can be friends and play with him if she wants.

* * *

Bella walks towards the cottage she and her Daddy live in, a smile on her face. The warm sun is so different to her. Forks was always wet and soggy. She loves the sun. Her Mommy used to talk about the sun to her. Her Mommy used to live in some place called Arizona, but when she met her prince, that is Daddy, her Mommy moved to soggy Forks. She will never forgot anything her Mommy told her.

"Hey Bells, had a good day?" He stops unloading the trunk he was given to use to drive around the huge estate.

Bella nods and smiles. She jumps up and her Daddy catches her with ease. "I met Jacob today!"

"Nice boy," Charlie nods with approval. He has seen Jacob with Sue a few times. Sue is a lovely young woman, so far she has been very attentive toward Bella.

"When will I meet Edward, the kid Edward?" Bella questions, she is shifted in her father's arms. He grabs his bag and heads into the very homey cottage they now live in.

"I don't know." Charlie kisses her cheek making her giggle with delight, he loves that laugh. Bending he set her down.

"Jacob took me to this special place Daddy," Bella says climbing onto the bar stool at the kitchen counter to wait for dinner.

"What special place?" Charlie questions arching his eyebrows before pulling the fridge door open. Mrs. Masen was very generous in stacking the cottage up with everything they need. He was thrown right into work so that has been very helpful in feeding his little one.

Bella shrugs not wanting to say too much.

"Isabella?"

"It is just this place behind the house," Bella pouts.

"What is there?"

"A huge lake and these flowers oh Daddy, the flowers are amazing." She smiles at all the purple flowers there.

Charlie smiles cutting some cheese up. "So it is nice then?"

"Beautiful." Bella nods taking a cube of cheese.

* * *

"I thought I said enough of this drawing," Edward Sr. comments upon walking into his sons room.

Edward looks up from his desk. "It is summer; I don't do it during the year." He argues. His father is not keen on him doing art or piano. He thinks both are a waste of time, time that could be spent studying or going out and making connections. He is 13. What connections does he need? Edward knows that his father doesn't like the piano choice because it was his mother's idea and want for him to do it. Edward Sr. makes it a habit to be contrary towards the two of them as much as possible.

"Good to know you are staying focused," Edward Sr. stands staring at his son.

Edward stares back unsure of what his father wants.

"Don't doodle too late into the night. Goodnight." Edward Sr. says and leaves the room without another word.

Edward sighs when his door is shut, he didn't realize he was holding in such a great breath.

* * *

**The next day…**

Bella skips into the kitchen where a few women are scurrying around, she frowns.

"Morning Bella sweetheart," Sue rushes it. "You can't be in here today."

"Got you" Jacob races past and tugs on Bella's long hair.

"Ow!" Bella shrieks.

Laughing Jacob leans on a wall.

"Jacob!" Sue scolds her son. "Both of you out."

"Wanna go play by the lake?" Jacob looks at Bella, she just nods quickly.

"Behave." Sue shouts towards them as they rush out together.

* * *

The two race side by side, he is much fast than her, she doesn't like being last. "Slow down, your legs are bigger." Bella complains.

"Longer, they are longer,"

"Longer then." She pants out of breath and stops to collect herself.

Jacob watches her, she has pink cheeks and her hair is wild, but she looks cute.

"What?"

"You are really pretty." He tells her with a matter of fact tone.

Bella frowns. "Thanks."

"My mom said girls like compliments,"

"She did?" Bella wrinkles her nose.

"Yeah, did you like that?"

"Yeah." Bella smiles before racing away completely winning the race.

* * *

"How could you not know this Jake?" She has nick named him.

"I don't know Bells" He watches her and rolls his eyes. She is soaked to the bone and dancing around like a wild thing.

"It is the Hokey Pokey" Bella says eyes wide with disbelief.

"We don't do the Hokey Pokey at the rez. School"

Frowning, her little hands rest on her hips. "You poor thing." She says shaking her head much like her mother used to do to her.

Jacob laughs at her. "Silly goose"

"I'm not a goose, I'm a swan" She juts her chin out proudly. Bella pushes up on her toes and does a twirl in her wet underwear and under vest. "I wish I were a bird" She whispers out her hands up and pointed.

"Nah, not me, I want to be a wolf" Jacob says with a smile.

Turing around on her toes she lowers herself back in the grass. "A wolf?"

"A wolf."

* * *

Edward walks through the grass and ducks under a dropping bunch of trees, he spots two figures in the distance, near the lake…his lake. His eyes narrow. "Jacob." He mutters. The other he isn't sure. Walking over through the blooming purple flowers he listens and watches them. His sketch pad in hand. He just wanted to get out of the house. As huge as it is, he feels cramped. He wants to spend the day in the sun drawing anything, everything.

Bella giggles and jumps around in the small bit of mud. "Get up and join me." She calls to Jake.

Jacob shakes his head and stays in his place.

"Party pooper." She laughs.

Whipping his head to the side Jacob spots Masen.

Bella pauses and grins. "Are you Edward Masen?"

"Who are you?" He questions, he is guessing this is the new grounds keepers daughter.

"Bella, and this is Jake,"

"I know him."

Jacob scoffs. "I doubt that very much Masen."

"It is Edward, what are you doing covered in mud?" Edward stares at the little girl. She looks young, and now knows she is the new caretakers daughter his mother was telling him about.

"We're just playing, want to join us?"

"You think jumping in the mud is playing?"

"Yes,"

"You are a baby,"

"What!" Bella exclaims.

"How old are you?" Edward smirks. She looks completely furious, and her cheeks are going pink. The part not covered in mud.

"She's not a baby!" Jacob shouts to Bella's defense.

Edward shoots Jacob a glare. He doesn't know why he and Jacob are not friends. His Father never allowed him to play with Jacob when they were growing up. And Sue whom he really likes always kept Jacob away. It is just the way it has always been. It seems easier to blame Jacob for that rather than his Father. "Well you look like a baby,"

"7 and a half, am I wearing a diaper?" She points to her bum and waits for his answer with an impatient look.

Edward laughs. "Only a baby would say something stupid like that" He is 13 years old, certainly not a baby. She is a little tiny girl jumping in mud. He just wants some peace yet this little girl is here in his private place not allowing that. He is kind of pissed off, that Jacob even knows about this place too. Making her mad actually him feel a smidge better.

"Well you are stupid," She says. "Because babies can't even talk!" Bella's voice grows louder at the end and she shouts.

"Bella stop." Jacob warns her. That is a Masen she is talking to, he knows better than to step out of his place too much, and she needs to know too.

"Well, I am not a baby, you're a baby." She can't believe this mean boy.

"Oh lord." Edward says almost laughing. He turns walking off laughing even more; he will find somewhere else to draw today.

* * *

"Then he called me a baby" Bella pouts. She is fresh and clean.

His little girl smells of sweet berries and vanilla. "You aren't a baby," Charlie tells her tucking the covers around her body. "But you are not grown up yet either, Edward Masen is 13, that is 5 years older than you, so 7 and 13 is a big gap." He holds up his hand to show her.

"7 and a half," Bella growls.

Charlie chuckles. "7 and a half and 13 is a big age gap." He explains.

"I don't even want to play with him anymore, he is stupid."

"Isabella Marie Swan, don't you say things like that." Charlie scolds his daughter. He has never heard her speak like that before.

"He said I was a stupid baby," Bella whines, mixing up the actual words which were said to her, she cuts her little brown eyes.

"Bella, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all, okay?"

"Well he needs to know that, I already know Daddy!"

Charlie sighs; trying to argue with her little spit fire is useless. Instead he kisses her forehead and hushes her to sleep.

* * *

**And they all meet!**

**In typical Edward & Jacob fashion they don't like either other. Boys!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Rather than doing days like I have done in other stories (if you read them) I will be doing months and years. As this story will move more quickly than others, so if I don't put a month/year just assume it is still the same or at least a month different, kay? GREAT!**

**It will move more soon no worry!**

**Thanks!**

* * *

**Manner of Life**

**Chapter 3**

Jacob is not around today, she saw Sue busy with work so she didn't bother asking where he was.

Her little legs swing back and forwards in the large tree she is perched in. Her eyes gaze over the lake before her. The water is so still, it looks like glass. The breeze is gentle, against her skin. It is like a sort of kiss. Bella hums a bit and bounces the doll she is has been clutching, around on her leg. Smiling at her doll she hums a bit more, just soft, but a little fast. The doll dancing on her leg increases its movements. Her lips form a smile as she watches her soft doll go for it.

* * *

Edward walks, the lake is quiet today. He looks around before sitting down on the cool but warm grass. The sky is so blue with just dusts of clouds moving slowly through it. He sighs and tips his head to look up.

Bella watches him from the tree as he rolls up his pant legs and dips his feet in the water's edge.

The dragonflies are the only things that appear to be moving before his eyes. It is so peaceful out here. He is in another world, or it seems like he is when he's at the lake. Even though the house is on the same land it feels like a whole new place. It is like a place where he can do what he wants without the watchful eye of his father. Draw and be…free.

Leaning down she watches him pull out a huge pad and pencil. Her long hair falls loose and she tucks it behind her ear with her hand as she watches him. His hand moves quickly over the pad, he is looking down and really concentrating on his work.

Edward's hand moves smoothly over the clean white paper, he can literally remember every detail he just looked at across the lake; as he now draws it on the paper. His brow wrinkles as his mind works like a photo guiding him along.

Bella climbs quietly down the tree and stands behind him. She frowns because she was quiet but loud enough for him to stir…he hasn't stirred since he started drawing. She wonders for a moment if he is ignoring her now. "Hi." Bella says softly.

Edward whips his head around and looks at her. She is in shorts and her bare knees are bruised, her hair is long and kind of wild…much like his own right now. He takes a hand and runs it through his mane. She is clutching a soft doll. "What are you doing here?" He questions her, his tone is not harsh, but he isn't kind either. The pad his pressed to his chest, he presses the large item even closer when he sees her looming to one side trying to get a look.

"I got this place first" She glares. She doesn't really like his question very much, plus he was mean to her the other day and she has not forgotten that.

"This is my home,"

"Mine too,"

"Why am I even talking to you?" He grumbles.

"You are the grumpiest kid I ever met!"

"You are only 7, how many have you met?" He laughs at her.

"7 and a half!"

"Whatever kid." He does like to wind her up.

Bella frowns; it is so strange to her. Mrs. Masen looks like a princess, and Edward he kind of reminds her of Prince Charming. But he is just like an ugly step sister. She wrinkles her nose. "You are not charming, nothing like Prince Charming" Bella tells him as a matter of fact with wide eyes, her thoughts just coming out.. Cinderella's prince is Charming indeed.

"That's not real,"

"What, I know it's a movie, but," Bella starts wanting to explain.

"But nothing," He turns his head away from her to get back to his art.

"I don't like you much,"

"Likewise kid,"

"Stop calling me that, my name is Isabella Marie Swan," She tells him proudly.

"Like I care,"

"That is so rude," She informs him with her hands in fists at her sides.

"Like I care."

Bella shakes with anger. She just wants to push him into the lake. Right in. "I would push you in the lake," She tells him. "-but I like your picture too much!"

Edward laughs at her when she turns with a huff and runs off. He stops once she is out of ear shot and looks at his sketch; they have only ever been complimented on by his mother. And that is his mother so she sort of has to like his things. But this kid, well she didn't.

* * *

Bella hides in the library. She had to comb through book after book after book. But she found it. The Hobbit. She held it to her chest for ages before she could open it. Tucked behind a heavy curtain in a window seat she reads the words. When she shuts her eyes she can almost hear her mother reading them to her. She still fumbles when reading aloud, but she does get better, she will get better.

Sighing softly Bella rests her head back. The window seat would be dark with the heavy green drapes but the window is huge. She can see the lake from here. It looks tiny but there it is. Turning her head she goes back into the world of The Hobbit. A world she used to visit with her mommy.

Edward put away his sketch pad. It is safely between his mattresses so his father won't see it. "Where are you?" He mutters running his finger along the spines of the books. The world of The Hobbit is an enchanting one. He could travel there right now, if he could find it. "I know I put you back" He hisses through clenched teeth. His father would not be happy if this book is missing. He knows he put it back.

"I have it" Bella just knows she has the one book in this huge library that he is looking for. Pushing out she shows herself from behind the curtain in the window.

Edward looks at her.

She is clutching the book in her small hands against her chest. Biting her lip she looks at him.

"That is a very old copy, expensive too, signed and it's mine" He finishes narrowing his eyes at her.

"I wasn't hurting it" Bella watches him snatch it from her hands.

"What are you doing in here?"

"Reading" She says after a very, very long pause, as if the answer was pretty clear.

"You read this?" He holds up his book which his father got him years ago. Something he actually bought for him because he knew he liked it. Despite it being old and signed, his father getting it is what makes it special.

"It is my favorite" She beams with a huge smile on her face.

Edward says nothing. He just looks at this little girl.

"Are you going to read it?"

"Yes, that is why I am here,"

"Okay," Bella responds. "Can I read it when you are done?"

"No"

"Why not?" She questions roughly.

"Because you are a grubby little girl,"

"A what?"

"A grubby little girl, don't you have a picture book you want to read,"

"A what book?"

Edward arches his eyebrows, he smiles a bit. She gets so worked up, it is really funny.

"You are so mean" Bella pouts and lowers her head. "I just want to be friends" She starts to cry. She doesn't understand, maybe because she is just 7…7 and a half. But she can't figure out why he is so mean to her. Maybe Jacob is right, he is a snob.

"Are you crying?" He questions the top of her lowered head.

"No" Sniffing gives her away and her little hands fly up to her cheeks to wipe them.

"Don't cry" He sighs, he knows how she feels. He feels like crying often as well due to his Father. "I was just teasing you" He was, but his Father isn't.

"I don't care anyway" Bella says firmly lifting her head.

"You can read it if you want, I have read it a million times anyway."

"Thanks." Bella smiles through her reddish eyes.

* * *

"Where did you get this Bell?" Charlie says coming in to tuck her in. He spots her reading The Hobbit. Bella wanted to bury the special book with Renee. She said 'Mommy has to have something to remember me by and something to read' A very serious look on her face when she said it. She has such strength his little Bella.

"The library"

"Bella, no" Charlie shakes his head reaching to take it away. He doesn't want her taking things. He doesn't need Mr. Masen to have anything on him or Bella that would jeopardize her future.

"Edward already took it, don't take it again," She whines.

"What?"

"But he said I could read it,"

"He knows you have it?"

"Yes, it is his, very old and signed," Bella flips to the front page. "B Tolkien himself, can you believe it?"

Charlie smiles, his face softens just at how excited she is over this book. "No, I can't."

"Me either." Bella widens her eyes before moving them back to the book.

* * *

Jacob races with Bella down to the bank of the lake.

"There are no fish in here"

"Sure there are" He tells her, he has his ready homemade fishing pole.

"Really?" Bella scrunches her nose and peers over the side. "We swam in there?"

"Yup"

"With fish?" Her eyes widen.

"Yup"

"Ew," Bella scrunches up her nose even more.

"Prissy girl,"

"Am not!" She yells.

"Why are you always yelling?" Edward says sort of coming out of nowhere.

Bella looks at him. "Hi,"

"Hi," He greets her, civically for once.

She hopes he doesn't tell Jacob about her crying a few days ago. "I put the book back." She tells him.

"I saw it." Edward smiles a bit at her.

Jacob makes a face not knowing what that was about. "You wanna fish?"

"No," Edward declines politely.

"You should, you might have some fun." Bella tells him.

"I am just going to sit and draw," He tells her.

"Suit ya'self." Sam shrugs. He has never really ever met Edward Masen, well he met him but this is the first real time he has spoken to him, or vice versa. Jacob credits it to Bella being around.

* * *

Bella giggles as Jacobs pulls up the fish. "Oh, put it back!" She squeals.

"No,"

"Jake, yes, it will die," She jumps around flapping her arms like a crazy person. "Put it back," She doesn't really want to touch it.

"No!"

"Put it back." Edward steps up and takes the fish off the hook quickly dropping it back into the water.

Bella stands surprised. He sort of came to her rescue for lack of a better word. He has been sitting drawing near them the whole time. She didn't think he was paying the pair of them any mind.

Jacob throws his pole down. "I got that fish, I wanted to keep it!" He barks in Edward's face.

"The kid wanted it to live,"

"I'm not a kid!" Bella yells.

"Whatever, you could say thanks".

"No," She tells him and looks at Jacob. "Come on Jake." Bending down she picks up Jacob's pole and walks off before he has time to even attempt to follow her.


	4. Chapter 4

**I did say back in Chapter 2 or 3 that this story would be moving. Here is the 1****st**** real 'move' in it. **

**Just watch the dates, its switches a tiny bit in. **

**Hope you ENJOY!**

**I don't own these characters, Stephanie Meyer does. Nor do I own The Hobbit. Just an FYI incase anyone was wondering :)**

* * *

**Manner of Life**

**Chapter 4**

**Mid August 1991**

**Bella is 7 ½ **

**Edward is 13**

The summer passes so quickly it was barely here before it was starting to end.

"But it is really itchy" She complains once again. Mrs. Masen is so patient with her.

"Bells" Charlie warns her again about the whine in her voice.

"It does Daddy" Bella argues with a pout.

Esme smiles at the pint size sweetie. "When we wash it a bit it will become…un-itchy" She explains to the bright eyed beauty.

Bella pouts again.

"Bells" He warns one last time.

Esme laughs. "Don't worry Charlie, I think what we need is some girl talk" Charlie heads off and leaves Bella and Mrs. Masen to their own devices. He is really lucky that Mrs. Masen has taken such a liking to Bella.

"So" Mrs. Masen sits next to Bella and wraps an arm around her. "Why don't you tell me what the problem really is sweetheart"

Bella sighs. "I'm really nervous"

Esme smiles. "There is no need to be, everyone will love you"

"Edward will be there right?"

"He will be at the same school, but since he is older you won't see him much as you will be in different sections"

Bella nods solemnly. He isn't her best friend or anything, he is really the moodiest kid she has ever met, but she likes him. He lets her read the Hobbit, so she guesses they are sort of friends.

Esme leans in and kisses her wild hair. "You still have a few more weeks of summer left, don't worry too much about it Bella"

* * *

Charlie holds Bella's hand as he walks her into this very posh private school. Edward was driven in by his driver but Charlie opted to take Bella himself. She is his daughter after all.

* * *

"My mom told me your dad is a servant"

Bella looks at the girl in front of her and tips her head to the side. "He is a caretaker"

"He serves the Masen's" She says folding her arms over her chest.

"So?"

"You are just a charity case kid"

Bella says nothing mainly because she doesn't understand.

"Why don't you get lost Piggy?" Edward comes up and stands between Penelope Brown and Bella.

Bella looks up at the back of Edward's head as his back is all she now sees.

"It is Peggy"

"Whatever you say" He flicks his hand at her completely uninterested in her, when she and her little clan walk off he turns to Bella. "Hey"

"Hi" Bella shifts on her toes. "I thought I wouldn't see you in this area"

"I came to check on you between classes, you good?"

Bella nods her head quickly.

"Don't listen to those girls"

She shakes her head at him.

"I'll meet you out front afterschool while you wait for Charlie" He offers.

She nods quickly staring at him.

"See you later kid"

Bella huffs and glares after him.

* * *

**Late August 1996**

**Bella is 12 ½ **

**Edward is 18**

"Do you have to leave?" Bella questions Edward as she leans against the tall tree. Her legs out stretched.

"Yes" Edward answers her; he just glances over to her. She is glowing in the sun shine.

"How will I cope in school without you?"

"You have been holding your own" He tells her the truth, she has a really nice group of friends. They come from really well to do families but they are simply Bella's friends. Good honest true friends to her.

"But I knew you were there"

"I will just be a few hundred miles away"

"Hmm" Bella shuts her eyes and leans her head back against the tree.

Edward smiles at her; he is sitting up without leaning on anything facing her. He reaches out and tickles her bare calf. She doesn't even respond to his touch.

"Stop it" Is all she says.

"Read" Edward demands using his leg to nudge her legs.

"You will call me right?"

"Of course" Edward tells her coolly. Over the past five years, they have become close. They share a bond, it is different from her bond with Jacob, which is incredibly strong, just different. "You know I will, you still have Jacob"

"Like for 5 more years"

"Well in 5 years I will be back, he will be gone, so you are never without a friend" Edward informs her of the dynamics of it all"

"Well it will be very different with just one of you"

"Jacob and I don't like each other much anyway"

"Yeah you do, well you both like me so" Bella smiles with her eyes shut. "I don't want to think about the summer ending" She mutters.

"Well" Edward takes a light hold of her ankle and lifts her leg up a bit he smiles at her clean bottom of her foot. "It is ending so get use to it kid"

"I wish you would stop with the kid thing" She opens her eyes as he rests her leg back down on the soft grass.

"Well when you stop being a kid"

"I am almost 13" She tells him.

"And I am 18, you are still a kid"

Bella mimics him with her mouth, no sound comes out.

Edward laughs. "So are you going to read to me or not"

"Not" She sits up and thrusts the book out to him.

"Not?" He arches his eyebrows and looks at her.

"Not" She repeats with more conviction.

"Why not?"

"Because it is totally your turn"

"Mine turn huh?" Edward takes the book and shuts one eye as he looks at her.

"Hmm" Bella smiles and leans back.

"It had a perfectly round door like a porthole, painted green, with a shiny yellow brass knob in the exact middle" Edward reads.

Bella sighs. She loves this book, just something about it; she could read it or hear it being read a hundred times and it would never get old.

* * *

_'Will you read it to me Edward' Bella questions him._

_Edward looks at her. She is a cute little kid, very wild and erratic at times, sweet at times also. 'Sure' He mutters as they are both in the library alone. She is curled up in a large window seat._

_'My Mommy used to read this to me' She tells him looking at the pages just filled with words._

_'In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort' He reads the book he almost knows by hard now._

* * *

Edward glances at her, he is not sure if she is sleeping. "Bella?"

"Hmm?" She makes only a sound.

"Are you listening?"

"Yes, your voice is still so different" She laughs opening her eyes. It was starting to get different when she first met him, but she was little..er then, she didn't notice anything like that. But he is so big now, tall, the hair is growing all over his face and chest. She sees him when they go swimming in the lake. Jacob is 16 and he still looks the same, just bigger.

"Well yours is still the same" He tells her.

"I am a kid after all" She jokes.

"Yes you are" He smiles.

"Want to swim?" Bella sits up, getting up to a standing position she looks down at him. His shoes are off, and pants rolled up. "Why don't you just wear shorts?"

Edward doesn't do a lot of things because of his father's influence. Anything that he does with Bella is most certainly unknown by his father. He is the way he is because of his father. Spoilt snobby, closed off. That is the manner in which has was taught from a young age. His mother wants him to be different; he wants her to be happy. So if his father is happy with how he is turning out she has an easier time.

"I don't want to"

Bella cuts her eyes at him and strips down to her suit.

"Is that thing glued to you?" He questions because she is always in it. During the summer that is.

Bella shakes her head smiling. "Nope, come on" She runs and jumps in.

Edward laughs and stays put. "I'm not going in today"

"Why?"

"I have a date"

"A what?" Bella treads the fresh water.

"A date, something you wouldn't know about kid" Edward stands up.

"The date is now?"

"In a few hours"

"Oh" Bella makes a face. "Who is it with?"

"Tanya from school"

"Tanya Denali?" Bella questions.

"The one and only"

"Why?"

"Because I like her" Edward stands near the bank and looks at her in the water, he absentmindedly brushes the loose grass from his pants.

"Oh right" Bella looks at him. "Have you gone out with her before?"

"Have you seen me go out with her before?"

"No"

"Well you have your answer"

"Where are you going?"

"I'm taking her out"

"I know that dummy"

Edward shrugs. "I haven't planned it"

She knew when he went out with Jessica Stanley but that was just a school dance thing. Looking at him she turns in the water and swims out a bit more.

"I'll catch you later"

* * *

"Hey Bella" Jake runs after her.

Bella keeps walking, she doesn't feel like talking.

"Hey" He gets beside her and starts to walk.

"Hi"

"What is wrong?"

"Nothing"

"Where is Masen?"

"Getting ready for his date" She says with a shrug.

"Oh" He actually doesn't care, it is better; he likes Edward enough, not that much. His only hangs out near him because Bella is friends with him. Jacob actually finds him to be a rich snob.

"Have you been on a date?"

"Nope"

"Me either"

"You are only 12"

"I am almost 13" In less than a month. What is with people, she doesn't know!

"Well who would you have a date with?"

"You!" Bella pipes.

"Me?" He frowns.

"Yeah, why not"

"You are just a kid" Jacob laughs. He notes Bella's face after a few moments. "I like you, and you are great but, you are only 12…I am 16, practically an adult"

"13, and please" Bella rolls her eyes and walks a bit faster.

* * *

"Bells" Charlie says gently as gently as he can. His daughter is 12 and wants to know about dating. These are times he wishes Renee were here to guide her through whatever it is a 12 year old goes through. "You have your whole life to date"

"Well Edward is going out on a date"

"He is an adult in everyone's eyes, legally"

"You don't have to be an adult to date" She argues.

"No" Charlie stands corrected. "But you are just 12"

"12 and a half" Bella tells her father.

"Well most 12 and a half year olds do not date"

Bella licks her lips.

* * *

"You look great" Esme Masen says to her son in the grand entrance hall. Her hands smooth down his chest. "What a sight you have grown to be" She smiles.

Edward looks at his mother. "Thanks"

"Have a good time tonight, are you sure; you don't want Felix to drive you?"

"I think I am manage" Edward smiles; he got an amazing car when he went 16, just amazing.

"So son you are taking out Eleazar Denali's daughter"

Edward Masen comes down the stairs with a pipe in his lips.

"Yes" There is something about his father that always puts him on edge. It has always been there, but as he has gotten older it has come out more.

"Don't mess it up, the Denali's are a great American family"

"As are the Masen's" Esme smiles, she feels her husband's arm go around her shoulders.

* * *

_Edward sits in the study reading some Greek literature._

_'Hey, what are you doing?' Bella smiles skipping over._

_'Reading' Edward mutters just glancing at her._

_'Wanna go swimming?'_

_'No'_

_'Why?'_

_'I am reading, I like to read'_

_'But' Bella peeks over and frowns. 'That is boring' She loves to read but it is summer._

_'My father says'_

_'Oh your father, how boring' Bella rolls her eyes before twirling around. 'Come swimming with me and Jake!'_

_Edward looks at her smiling and bobbing her head from side to side. 'I can't'_

_'It's summer' She grins. She has lived there for one full year now. She will be 9 in September. Edward is 14they have been good together over the past year._

_'I have to read this'_

_'Why, boring' She sings and turns around her arms out stretched. 'It is so much more fun doing this in the sun shine' She stops suddenly and grins at him._

_Edward debates. 'Fine' He says._

* * *

_Bella laughs and jumps into the lake. 'I wish there was a swing' She gasps a bit. 'From that tree so we could swing into the lake'_

_Edward looks at her. He knows when she gets older all this fun and everything that is exciting now will wear off._

_'Yeah that would be great!' Jacob agrees_.

* * *

Edward looks at his son. "Edward"

"Father?"

"See me in my office before you leave" He says.

Esme gives her son a smile.

* * *

**Read & Review...**


	5. Chapter 5

**I know Edward and Bella were not together for a 'Break Up, but you get the point of the title.**

***NOTE***

**Nothing huge but at the middle (when the 'jump' happened in Chapter 4) I said it was 'Late August 1991' I changed it to 'Mid August 1991'**

* * *

**Chapter 5**

**Mid August 1996**

**Bella is 12 ½ **

**Edward is 18**

**The Break…Up**

Bella stands at the end of the hall behind a slight wall and sees Edward and Mr. Masen go into the office. She puzzles her lips together. Edward is dressed very smooze-ie. She kind of wants to barf.

* * *

Edward stands in the office; he watches his father move to sit behind his desk. It is like a work meeting. He hates every second of it.

Edward Sr. clears his throat. "It is time for you to stop spending so much time with little Bella"

"Little Bella?" Edward says much like 'pardon?'

"She has her head in the clouds, you are going off to university, and"

"Why are you telling me this?" Edward cuts his father off. He would rather his father not beat around the bush and just get right to whatever he is planning on saying or doing.

"Because you spend far too much time together" Edward Sr. claps his hands together on the desk and he looks at his son. He looks so much like his mother.

"Well she does live here father"

"And you will cease your time spending together if you wish that to continue" His voice is cold and hard. He doesn't have time for his son to be playing around with a carefree little girl. He needs his head in the game and he wants his head to stay in the game. Life is like a chessboard and a Masen checkmates every time.

Edward frowns. He doesn't know where this is coming from, but he never did with his father. He never really understood anything his father did. Usually it was 'for the best' for him. It was never questioned, that is just the way it was.

* * *

_Edward watches as his father has Alec rid his room of all of his art pencils and pads._

_'You will thank me in a few years Edward' Edward Masen Sr. says looking at his 16 year old son's expression._

_'That's it Mr. Masen'_

_'Now, pick up a book in the library, I left some choices out for you' Mr. Masen says to his son before walking out ahead of Alec holding the supplies in a bag._

* * *

"Fine, I won't spend time with Bella anymore"

"It is for the best, you will be heading to school in a few weeks, and she might as well get used to it"

"Should I not take Tanya out tonight, as I will be heading to school in a few months and she will not be joining me?"

"Edward" Mr. Masen warns his son of his tone. He blames Bella fully for that. He likes the little girl, and her father works very well but she is feisty, and Edward doesn't need that in his life, in his head, sidetracking him.

"Sorry sir" Edward mumbles his head down.

"No, I like Tanya Denali, and Eleazar and I have wanted you to see each other for a while, make it happen son" His tone starts off thoughtful as though he didn't have the rest of the sentence planned.

Edward looks at his father before turning to leave the office.

* * *

Bella smiles coming down the stairs. "You look handsome"

Edward looks at her. He is mid thought about everything that went on in the office. "Isn't it time for your bed?"

A bit taken back by his abruptness, but she lets it go. "No, not yet" She smiles. "I am meeting Jake out back to catch fireflies…or try" She laughs.

"Well that sounds very juvenile"

"Whatever Edward" She says tucking her dark hair behind her ear and rolling her eyes. She licks her lips and takes a seat next to him.

"Oh, Edward" Mrs. Masen comes over with a smile. "Bella hello"

"Hi" Bella smiles.

"Let me take your photos"

"Oh" Bella moves to stand.

"No that's alright dear" Mrs. Masen waves her hand for Bella to stay. "Smile"

She looks at Edward and leans in as she grins, pressing her hands on his leg.

Edward smiles at his mother.

"Just want to capture something as you won't bring her here" She cuts her eyes at her son with a smile. "Have fun tonight"

Bella looks at Edward when Mrs. Masen leaves. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong; you should go, meet Jacob"

"I am"

"Have fun"

"I wish you could come" Bella mutters gently, she reaches out to touch his hands; they are clasps between his legs.

"I have a lot on my mind" Edward pulls his hand away from her friendly touch.

"Oh" Standing quickly Bella runs down the hall, she wipes a loose tear away. She doesn't understand him. He is her best friend and seems to be acting so funny since he told her about Tanya. She runs and runs until she reaches the clearing behind the house near the lake.

* * *

The day after the date, that was it. She has barely seen him. He has made himself scare. When he is not held up in his room 'working' he is out of the house with Tanya, Tanya and her family, Tanya and his family. Bella sits at the edge of the bank, her feet in the water swirling around she sits and waits. He hasn't come to the lake, he doesn't come and read with her in the library, he doesn't tell her stupid jokes, or draw her. Or draw at all!

* * *

_Bella lounges back in the tree. 'Are you sure you can see me Edward?' She calls down without moving anything but her mouth._

_'I can see you just fine'_

_'I could…'_

_'No' Edward calls again._

_'What you two doing?'_

_'Hey Jake' Bella lifts one arm and waves her hand down at Jacob she assumes he is standing next to Edward, or sitting._

_'Why you in the tree like that?'_

_'Edward's gonna sketch me' Bella beams to herself. Drawing is important to Edward, and he is really good, she feels happy he said he would draw her, to add to his huge sketch collection._

_'Oh' Jacob peers over at Edward's large pad._

_Over the past few months the three of them have become…friends. Certainly he and Bella have. Jacob and him are somewhat rivals. Sometimes he finds himself vying for Bella's full attention. She is 10 now, it is late winter, and the summer will be here before they know it._

* * *

Edward does nothing besides have dinner with his parents. She barely sees him. Bella whips her head around at the shuffle of a person.

Jacob smiles heading over to her. "What's up?"

"Nothing"

"Feel like swimming?"

"No, not today" Bella mutters looking at her reflection in the lake. She sees Jacob sit next to her.

"Why not, sad Masen is always with that Denali girl?"

"No" Bella whips her head around and glares at him.

"Yeah you are" Jacob laughs at her nudging into her shoulder.

"He is going away soon and not even caring to hang out with me the last few weeks of summer"

"Who cares?"

"I care!" Bella shouts at him. "Sorry"

"He thinks he is too good for us anyway"

"No he doesn't" She mutters softly shaking her head.

"Yeah he does, that's why his daddy told him to stay away from us"

"What?"

"You heard me"

Bella turns, pulling her feet from the water and resting her bent legs on the grassy bank. "What?"

"His daddy told him stay away from us, or we might not be here anymore"

"I don't understand" Bella mutters very confused.

"You think the Masen's like us hanging out, two nobodies with their pride and joy, their golden boy?"

"You are lying" Bella pushes up standing and stepping back.

"No I'm not" Jacob gets to his feet quickly.

"You just hate him"

"Please" Jacob rolls his eyes he watches her grab her shoes. "Go ask him, my Mom told me to stop hanging out with him because of what she heard, you would do well to do the same"

"Stop it"

"I am trying to help you" Jacob argues.

"No you are not" Bella wipes her eyes.

"Don't cry"

"I am going" Bella says wiping her cheeks and walking towards the house.

* * *

Edward heads to his room carrying his tennis racket. He swings it around his wrist getting a small work out with the movement.

Bella sits in his window sill waiting for him.

Shutting the door to his bedroom he drops the racquet on the nearby chair.

Pushing the drape aside quickly she shows herself.

"Shit Bella" He curses his hand clutching against his chest.

"Why aren't you my friend anymore" She demands.

"Bella not now, you need to get out"

"Not until you tell me why you have stopped coming to the lake and reading with me, and doing all the things we used to do together" And this is all in a matter of a week and a half. She can feel the distance already in such a short time.

"Because I am 18, I don't feel like doing those things" He tells her.

"Is it because of your dad?"

"Do you like school Bella?"

"Yes" She says a bit taken back.

"Well if you want to keep going, you will leave and act like the daughter of a grounds man"

Her mouth hangs open, and her eyes widen. She doesn't even know how to respond to that.

"I didn't mean that" He regrets it the moment the words leave his mouth. Charlie has been wonderful to him. The times Bella has been off with her friend Alice Brandon from school and he came by to hang out. Charlie entertained him instead. He helped Charlie construct the fence surrounding some of their property. His father had a face when he heard what Edward was doing with Charlie but kept his words to himself.

He wants her to understand, but she is so strong willed and unwilling to just take things at face value. She is a fighter which is why he knows she will be fine without him around her. It will be better.

"So it's everything"

"Everything?"

"Everything Jacob said"

"Oh not him again" Edward says annoyed.

"He is right, you think you are better, your father does too"

If telling her this makes the break cleaner so be it. He doesn't want her to have to leave, Charlie. His father would fire the lot of them, Sue, Jacob. Well he doesn't care for Jacob, but Sue is wonderful. "We are better"

"You are a nasty snob"

"You are a kid, I don't want to swim in the lake, you have no idea about the world, and it is not just swimming and climbing trees and reading The Hobbit"

Bella glares at him. "You hateful mean spirited man"

"Finally, I am a man and you are a child" He throws his hands up in the air.

"Well then swimming and climbing trees is what I should be doing, I am done with you!" She bites out no longer sad, just mad at him. She doesn't understand how he can go from hot to cold in only a few weeks.

Edward doesn't turn around when she leaves his room.

* * *

**Hope you liked it! & If you didn't just pretend you did ;)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry just noticed I put 1991 not 1996 *changed***

**Poor me and I did it for Chapter 5 as well. Both changed now. So much for my word doc saved as 'Manor of Life Information'**

* * *

**Chapter 6**

**Late August 1996**

**Bella is 12 ½ **

**Edward is 18**

"You are going to do so well" Esme Masen says while she holds her son's face.

"Leave the man" Edward Sr. says to his wife. They are having him driven to the airport. Edward Sr. thinks they don't need to travel out with him; he is a big boy after all.

"I'll miss you" Edward tells his mother before kissing her cheek.

"Enough of that" Edward Sr. pats his son on the back. "You know what you have to do" Edward says firmly.

Edward shakes his father's hand.

Charlie stands at the car to say goodbye. The whole staff is out to bid Edward a farewell and good luck on his first term of university.

"Bye Charlie" He will miss Charlie. He has been like a father to him. Teaching him gently, kindly, showing interest in him, what he is doing.

"Bye Edward, we'll see you at Christmas" Charlie smiles and pats the young man's shoulder.

"Tell Bella something for me" He says in a smooth soft tone.

"Okay" Charlie frowns a bit. Certainly anyone else would think his relationship with his daughter is inappropriate but because he has seen it first hand, and they have been together since Bella was only just 8. It is just a family type bond there.

"Tell her I am sorry"

"Edward" Charlie sighs softly. He knows some of what has been going on. Well he knows Bella is not happy with Edward, and he has not seen him for a while now. "She is only little girl still, just remember that"

"I know, just please tell her Charlie"

Edward Sr. comes out on the very grand porch. "Edward the car is waiting" He calls out; his son is taking a very long time with Charles Swan.

"I'll tell her, safe trip" Charlie pats his shoulder a few times before watching him duck into the car. His eyes glance at Mr. Masen. He doesn't see the man often but he can feel his eerie presence when the man is around.

* * *

"I saw the car leave" Jacob says climbing up the large tree.

"I don't care" Bella mutters looking at him settle down.

"Yeah you do"

"Whatever Jake"

"You know I will always be here"

"Yup" She finally offers him a kind smile.

* * *

Bella sits in the bath. She hung out with Jake near the lake for the rest of the day. She can feel the summer is coming to an end. Not just because Edward has gone on a new journey without her or anyone. But because the weather is different, the sounds near the lake at night are different. She can just feel it.

"Bells, honey I brought you some," Charlie knocks before sticking his head in the door frame of the shared bathroom. "-towels"

Bella looks at her father, she smiles soaking in the bath. "Thanks"

* * *

Charlie waits for his daughter on the end of her bed as she finishes up in the bath.

"So" Charlie says as he watches Bella walk into her bedroom.

"He was so mean" Bella knows that Charlie is aware that she and Edward have not been hanging out as much in the past week or so.

"I know" Charlie doesn't know everything that happened; he does however know that Edward Masen Sr. is not very happy about the closeness Edward and Bella share. The man has not said anything directly to him about his daughter spending time with his son. But the looks on his face are plain as day.

"I don't even care" Bella mutters.

"Well, for what it is worth" Charlie starts; he reaches out and strokes the side of Bella's hair and face. "He wanted me to tell you he is sorry"

"What?"

"Hmm" Charlie nods, his moustache twitches a bit due to the glow creeping on her warm pink clean cheeks.

"Really?" Bella's eyes widen and she glows a happy little glow.

* * *

Bella jumps into bed after her dad kisses her head goodnight. She turns over and grabs The Hobbit, pulling it to her chest she rolls over and goes to sleep.

* * *

University life is very different there are no maids and people to cook for you…well there is the cafeteria, but nothing like home. A lot of freedom, he is thriving in it. He has bought a whole collection of art supplies. He was not allowed to take that as one of his subjects. But he will do what he wants in his free time. His father is not around to monitor him.

* * *

Bella wanders down the hall at school and it feels a bit emptier, Edward is not there, he won't be around for a smile or hello. Nothing. Licking her lips she goes about her day.

* * *

"How was school?" Charlie questions his daughter.

"Eh"

"That's it?"

"Hmm"

"A little more than that Bells"

* * *

"How would you feel about ice skating lessons?"

"Really?" Bella widens her eyes. She stumbled upon Mrs. Masen in the library while she was going to do her homework.

"Yes" Esme Masen has always wanted a daughter after Edward, it just never happened. Bella living with them has been amazing. There are just small perks to having her around. Nothing earth moving, but it is nice to have a little girl around. Even though Bella is not her daughter her being around the way she is, it's enough to make her feel like she has a daughter in some way. She wants to give the little girl everything.

"I will have to ask my Dad"

"Oh, yes of course" Esme says with a smile.

* * *

"I don't know Bells" Charlie fears owing this family too much, they are putting Bella through this private school, ice skating lessons, he doesn't know.

"Oh please" Bella places her hands together. "Please, please"

"Bella" Charlie warns. "You know you are completely uncoordinated right?" He offers her a smile to her frown. "Can I just think about it?" He really would rather her not do this.

Nodding Bella backs off.

* * *

**October 1996**

**Bella is 13 **

**Edward is 18**

The phone in the cottage rings.

Bella is sitting at the table doing her homework. Struggling a bit she is nibbling on her lower lip trying to work out a math equation.

"Bella, telephone" Charlie calls out, his voice in a bit of a sing song.

Lifting her head she sits looking at her dad for a moment. "Me?"

"Hmm"

Getting up she moves to the phone. "Hello?"

"Hey" His smooth voice speaks into the receiver, he can feel her smile, and it warms his body.

"Edward?" Her voice is filled with shock and excitement, hope.

"Hmm" He can hear her breath increase and he wants to hear it so he stays quiet for a moment to listen to the changes taking place.

"Oh my god, it's been 2 months" She tells him.

"How are you doing kid?"

"I'm fine, great now, how are you?"

"It is amazing here Bella let me tell you"

"Really?"

"Yeah, really, you would love the trees, they are awesome, I hear in the summer they bloom all pink these ones"

"Oh gosh" She is so excited to talk to him.

"One day I will have to get you up here, and I am sorry" He is sorry for leaving the way he left, things between them. It was actually eating away at him; he just couldn't get a second to call her. He needed to settle into a routine. He has found his routine, his balancing act.

"It's fine" She is totally over it. "I read the Hobbit every night trying to hear your voice" She confesses. "I miss you"

"I miss you" He mutters in response. "I'm sorry I missed your birthday, 13 huh?"

"It's okay, its fine" She gets out quickly like the phone conversation will end if she doesn't speak fast.

He is meeting a ton of great people, but he connects with Bella, that thing that makes you lifelong friends is just there between them. And who would have thought?

"You are coming home in a few months right?"

"Yes, how is school?" He will be home for Christmas, they are foregoing Thanksgiving. His father feels like it is a waste of time to travel for that small break, he thinks Edward could be studying rather than filling up on food. He will be at the dorms.

"Awful without you"

"Oh stop it"

"I'm not kidding, seriously"

"I am sure you are doing fine"

"Well of course, I am smart" She laughs. "But it is just not the same, plus Jake goes to a different school"

"Jacob" Edward says. "And how is he?"

"He is great, it's not the same not having both of you around, but he is great still" She smiles.

"Good, I glad he is around"

"Yeah" She smiles. "You sound so different" Bella giggles.

"Do I?" Edward laughs. "I am the same"

"Have you met loads of people?"

"Oh yeah, I live in this dorm with about 150 people and it is co-ed"

"What's that?"

"Men and women"

"Oh…sounds fun"

"Yeah" Edward laughs at the slight change in her tone. She is like a jealous little sister sometimes. He feels the same way at times with Jacob. Fear that Jacob may replace him, his role in Bella's life. "Work is hard, school work, but the down times are amazing"

"I can't wait to go to university"

"Yeah, you will definitely enjoy it" She would just really enjoy this type of atmosphere; she is the type of person who could do really well and thrive like no other, he knows this about her. He will be so proud when she is on her way.

"I have started ice skating!" She pipes.

"Really now?" He laughs for a good 5 minutes; he could hear her huffing on the other end.

"Yeah, I fell…well a lot" Bella laughs now with him. "But I am so good now, you should see me, the rink is indoor but-"

"Hey Ed-Man, oh sorry"

"No, that's fine" Edward speaks to Emmett this big burly guy. This great guy he met on the first day. He lives 3 doors down.

"A bunch of us are headed to the mall and dinner, want to go?"

"Yeah sure, give me a second"

Bella licks her lips. "I'll talk to you later" She says sadly and hopefully.

"Yes, and then you can tell me more about ice skating" He really can't wait to talk to her again, he can't go this long without any contact from her.

"Bye, night"

"Night kid" He smiles before hanging up.

* * *

**I know its short but I just feel like for the pace, I need to stop where it ends before a new section starts. I think the next part should be alone. **

**Next Chapter we will be in December *moving right along as I said!**

**Hope you liked and will review *winky face***


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

**December 1996**

**Bella is 13 **

**Edward is 18**

December, is bitter cold now. There is about 4 inches of snow covering the entire ground. The lake is just frozen. It looks solid and firm but Bella is weary to try her skating on it, especially alone. She wanted to be alone today, asking Jake to just hang back. Her head has been mentally preparing for Edward to come home for weeks now. She is so very ready to see him, hearing his voice is such a nice comfort for the time being, but hearing his voice is not enough anymore. Not when the buildup of him coming home is now.

Edward is back this afternoon.

Bella rubs her mitten covered hands together. The Masen family tree is up, and it is even bigger than the year before. It has been untouched; the family is waiting for Edward to arrive. Mrs. Masen's mother is here; Bella has not met her, and probably won't for the duration of her stay for the season. She doesn't care to meet her anyway. She just wants to see Edward; she is desperate to see him. Leaning back against the cold tree branch she shuts her eyes and can see his deep green eyes. It makes her feel warm and tingly all over, inside and out.

The school term has ended and honestly it wasn't terribly bad but it was different, next term will be better now that she has gotten the hang of being alone as far as Edward not being there.

"What's a guy to do, to get some attention?"

Bella looks down from the tree and almost throws herself down at his feet.

"Hey you" Edward pulls her into a warm hug.

"Edward" Bella beams. She was waiting for him; she knew he would come here. She just knew it!

Pulling back he smiles. "What are you doing out here, looking for Santa?"

"You are so horrible" She hits his chest.

Edward smiles warmly at her; he reaches out and tucks her long hair behind her ear. He smiles down into her face. She is pale and pink.

"Did you just get back?"

"About 20 minutes ago" He moves and walks with her, his arm around her shoulder.

"I don't believe in Santa anymore, so there"

"You are growing up aren't you?" He pulls a face at her making her smile.

"Hmm"

"Where is Jacob?"

"I asked him if I could be alone"

"Good thinking" He wants her all to himself after this length of time apart. "How is the skating going?"

"So great, you should see me, we should go soon"

"Yeah, we could go on the lake"

"What if it's not thick enough?" She glances up at him as they make their way back to the Manor. Her arm reaches around the back of his body, on his waist it sits as they walk step in step. He is so much bigger than she; she knows he slows his pace down just for her.

"It will be fine" Edward assures her, he tucks her closer to him, it is really cold out.

"Are you agreeing to see me skate because your father doesn't come out here, and we can be alone?"

"Bella" He stops and turns to face her, his hands go to her middle and he grips her tightly as he gets his emotions under control. "Please don't do that"

"I am just asking you" She says with a frown looking up at him.

"Well don't" He tugs her hips hard to his emphasizing his words. He doesn't want to think about his father and all the pressures of life. With her, with her he has always felt a million miles away from everything that grates on him. With Bella he feels like a different person, a person he can be proud to be.

"Fine" She pouts turning forward as they continue to walk back to the house, out of the cold.

* * *

"Hey" Jacob comes into the cottage, he sees Bella pulling on her beanie cap. "Wanna go out?"

"I am going out with Edward" She makes a wee face; she knows that Jacob and Edward don't get on like siblings as she does with Edward so that's why the face comes.

"Oh" Jacob looks disappointed.

"You want to come; we are going skating, just on the lake?"

"Nah"

"Sure?"

"I'm sure" Jacob doesn't get why Bella wants to hang out with Edward. He gets they are close but they aren't family. And Edward's family, well his father, is not even too keen on them being friends. She is such a silly little girl.

"Suit yourself" She shrugs.

* * *

Edward laughs skating around; he has known how to skate for years. He watches Bella move far more gracefully than he ever could imagine. "You look great!" He yells to her.

"Thanks" She shouts back across the ice right before she takes a crash to the ice.

Edward skates over quickly. Charlie will have his head on a platter if Bella is hurt. "Are you" He scoots down to her. "-okay?"

"Yeah" Bella pushes herself into a sitting positing. "I guess I am still working out the moves"

Edward smiles while he nods. "Yeah" Putting both his hands out he helps her up with a smile.

* * *

"Do you have a girlfriend yet?"

"What?"

"Do you have a girlfriend yet?" They are both in his room in front of the fire place on a bunch of pillows. The hot cocoa Sue brought up for them is positively yummy.

"I am not talking about that with you" Edward says making a face.

"Why not?"

"Because, you are too young for it all"

"I know about sex"

"Oh god, Bella, shh" Edward cringes. A 13 year old talking about sex is highly crazy.

"My friends and I talk about it" She explains to him.

"Friends from school, or Jacob?"

"No, not with Jacob, how strange that would be" She says with wide eyes, missing totally his face.

"And this is not?"

"With you?" Bella wonders aloud.

"Yeah with me"

"No" She laughs.

"Fine, but I'm still not talking about girls or sex with you"

"How you are so boring still, I have a gift for you" She grins. She has been saving up her allowance from her dad for the last few months.

"Christmas is a week away"

"I am just telling you"

"So you get a gift from me?" He questions her with a grin.

"No!"

"Yes it is" He jokes with her just to wind her up.

"No it's not Edward"

"Sure, you are just like a typical girl, fishing for gifts and compliments"

"Whatever" She mutters taking a sip of her cocoa, while cutting her eyes at him.

* * *

Edward walks toward the cottage, Bella is out with her friend Alice, he knows Alice Brandon from school, and his parents know her parents. They run in the same circle. He knocks on the door.

"Edward, hey, come in" Charlie smiles. He steps aside and lets the young man enter. "Bells is out with Alice"

"Yeah I know, I just, well we haven't had a chance to really see each other"

Charlie smiles as he pulls two mugs down. He was about to have some tea himself and enjoy the rest of the late Sunday afternoon.

Edward looks at Charlie, he knows he is a young guy, but he looks worn, wearily from working so hard. He has really kept Platt Manor up and running. And he has raised an amazing young girl on top of it.

"How is school Edward?"

"Good, it's different, a good different" Edward answers with a nod. "Thanks" He says when Charlie hands him a few cookies on a plate.

"I didn't make them, Bella" Charlie laughs a bit and bite into one for himself.

"She is really amazing"

"She is a good kid"

Edward nods. "She is alright, right?"

Charlie smiles. "You love her don't you?"

"She is like family, she is my family" Edward states to Charlie. "And you are family" Edward says carefully.

The kettle whistles. "You are like a son to me Edward, I'm really proud of you"

Edward looks down and nods. "Thank you"

* * *

"But Jake" Bella tugs at his arm. "You can come too"

"No, I just don't get why you are always hanging out with him.

"Because, he is one of my best friends, you are the other one" Bella looks at his face, her head tipped to the side. "Please come with us"

"No, I'd rather not"

"Okay…I'm sorry that we are not hanging out as much"

"I get it; Edward is back I come second"

"No" She says quickly. "I'll tell Edward I can't, we can go do something" It's not really fair, she hasn't seen Edward since the end of August, so of course she wants to spend time with him.

"No, I don't want you to do that; I'll talk to you later" He flicks his hand and walks off without another word or another glance in her direction.

* * *

Edward makes a face at her, as he opens this wrapped gift. "What is this?"

"Open it" Bella says in a giddy voice. They are sitting near the frozen lake in the tree out of the new fallen snow. It is so cold outside, but being at the lake is theirs. It is so private and personal. Intimate. She will take the cold any day to just be near Edward like this without any interruption. It is white all around them, picture perfect. Her eyes scan over his pale face, his cheeks are red, she is sure her cheeks are as red, as/or redder than his.

Edward pulls the paper off to see the gift. "Bella"

"I saved up for this, I really hope you like it"

"Bella, this is great" He looks at her. "So thoughtful"

"You like it, really?"

"Yes" He whispers, his words getting caught in his throat.

"I want you to draw more; you can do it in school" She doesn't know the real reason he stopped drawing that summer and started doing ultra boring things but she suspects it had something to do with his father. "You were, are so good"

"Bella" He says softly. "You really didn't have to get me anything" He won't tell her, he bought himself a whole pile of things. He will use what she gave him without question. She is wonderful to remember, to acknowledge his passion and know it has been pushed aside for whatever reason. He is grateful she wants it to come alive again even if it comes alive and it is simply between him and her.

"I wanted to" She smiles.

"Well" Edward clears his throat. "I got you something"

"What?" She says with a very excited voice.

"Trust me Bella, it is not that great, don't go getting excited"

"Oh it will be good, give it"

"It is not Christmas yet"

"Well I gave you yours" She pouts a bit.

Edward laughs. "Fine!"

"Oh goodie" She claps her hands, very child like…she is a child though.

"Here you are, merry" He pulls it from his thick jacket pocket. "Christmas"

Taking the small thin item she looks at him, then him and smiles. "Thank you" Opening it quickly Bella holds the tape cassette in her hand. "What's this?"

"Well" He mutters. "You will have to play it to find out"

"Edward?"

"Bella?"

"You are so annoying" She rolls her eyes and jumps up. "I'll see you at the house" Bella takes off running.

"Hey!" Edward calls jumping to his feet. He starts to chase after her. He is bigger and heavier so he is sinking in the snow a lot more than her small little self is.

Bella looks over her shoulder and laughs at him trying to run after her. "Hurry up slow poke"

Edward watches her run off in the mid-day winter snow. It is almost the perfect scene to draw…if she was motionless. Thinking about it as he slows down he has the image in his mind. When he gets back to the house, he will draw it. Draw her running wildly in the snow.

* * *

**Next Chapter will flow over I think 5yrs, just watch the dates and ages…you will be fine, as long as I don't mess them up! *which is very likely***


	8. Chapter 8

**This chapter will take us over 2 years. I said 5 years but yeah, no just two. I will do talking in ' '. But I won't put the words in italics even though it is in the past if you will. **

**This chapter will take us up until Edward has 1 year left. You know their friendship; this chapter will just outline things, important things. Know they do speak on the phone all the time, but these segments are just highlighted bits. The next Chapter will be " ", and pick up right where this one ends. So we will be back on 'real time' **

**HOPE this is not confusing to you as it is to me *smiley face***

* * *

**Chapter 8**

**Two Years & Counting **

**January 1997 – August 1999**

**January 1997**

**Bella is 13**

**Edward is 18**

'I'll be back for summer' Edward cups her cheeks and smiles; he presses a light kiss to her forehead. He is saying goodbye near the lake, it is still frozen solid. It is solid like their friendship. The Christmas season was great; he had a good time at home, which was a slight surprise to him. Bella was there and she is just a very an amazing girl.

'How about you just stay?' It was hard having him gone, kind of moving on without her.

'I can't do that' He laughs. 'I'll call'

'Okay' Bella says in a very somber tone.

'Okay'

'Bye'

Edward gives her a wink before walking off and leaving her standing near the huge tree in front of their lake.

* * *

Edward smiles as he starts to unlock his dorm door, he is glad to be back, he really thrives on the freedom of it all out in Washington.

'Had a good Christmas?' Maggie passes his dorm door, just getting back herself.

'Maggie, yeah it was great, how about yourself?'

'So, so, you look good'

He smiles at her very charmingly. 'You do also'

* * *

'No'

'Why not, who cares if nothing comes out of it, clearly she is very interested in you' Emmett booms lifting weights in the university gym next to Edward and Jasper.

'I care'

'You are a college guy now, live a little, Maggie Duarte is, well she is a great looking smart woman, interested in your ass for some reason'

Edward laughs along with his buddies. 'We'll see'

* * *

**March 1997**

**Bella is 13**

**Edward is 18**

'Got a girlfriend yet?'

'Bella' Edward moans.

'Sorry I just couldn't help myself'

'How is school?'

'Well its fine I guess' Bella mutters, shrugging to herself.

'I miss you if that is any consolation'

'No you don't, you are off having a grand old time in Washington'

'Well I am having a fair time, it is school after all' He laughs.

'I miss you too' She mutters her eyes look around the slightly busy kitchen. The Masen's are having a dinner party tonight and her father is slightly stressed out. He wants everything to go smoothly. Sue is more stressed because she is head of the staff.

'So I want you to go to my room'

'Now?'

'Tonight, sometime in the near future'

'For?'

'I left something for you under my mattress'

'Really?' She questions him very excited.

'Yes, really, listen I gotta go Bella'

'Okay bye'

'Bye'

* * *

**June 1997**

**Bella is 13**

**Edward is 19**

Edward opens up a letter from New York and smiles as he does. His parents don't send cards, or letters. Pulling up he smiles. His mother called him for his 19th this morning, bright and early.

'Hey man Happy Birthday'

Lifting his head he looks at his open door. 'Thanks, I'll be just a minute' He just got in and went to his mail box. His friends are taking him out for his birthday. He needs to exit the university soon, summer classes are starting and really he needs to get home, have a change of pace.

Edward smiles as he reads the goofy birthday card. 'I am NOT happy you aren't back yet, but Happy 19th, wow you are an old man now!, Love Bella' Edward laughs and shuts the card. He wants to call her but he will do it later.

* * *

Bella runs to him as fast as her legs will go, he should have been back last month. Exams were over a few weeks ago, but he stayed out there until his birthday was over. She jumps right into his arms and wraps herself around him.

'I missed you too' Edward mutters kissing the side of her head before setting her back to the ground.

Bella smiles up at him, he is so tall and big. He is like a different person, but the same. She is still 13, 14 come September, but it seems like the age gap is just getting larger between them. Licking her lips she smiles.

Jacob walks over from where he and Bella were laying out on the very green lush grass. It was so cold and dead in the winter, especially when the snow started to melt. But now, it is beautiful. This place is beautiful.

'Hello Jacob' Edward greets the 17 year old.

Bella smiles looking at both of them.

'I guess you two want to be alone' He still doesn't get it.

'No, stay, we can all go swimming or something'

'Actually Jacob, you stay, I have a dinner thing'

'Dinner thing?' Bella frowns looking at Edward.

'Yeah'

'With, your parents?' She understands that he just got in today. He looks tired, but great.

'No, a friend'

'Oh' Licking her lips she smiles. 'I guess'

'Yeah, I'll see you later'

* * *

'Where did Edward go?' Bella questions Sue as she sits eating dinner in the main house's kitchen, her eyes glance up every so often.

'A date, Tanya Denali'

'Her, still?'

'Their parents are really pushing for this' Sue shrugs. 'I will see you in a bit' Sue pops a kiss on top of Bella's head. She really loves Bella.

* * *

**November 1997**

**Bella is 14**

**Edward is 19**

He doesn't know if this is normal, or if he is somewhat of a late bloomer. But his first sexual experience, tonight, at 19…it was great for what it is worth. He is not in love; he can't see himself in love. Sometimes he feels pushed to do things, not this, but in life, throughout his life. There are parts which feel broken and un-whole. But the sex, for what it was, was great. You certainly don't have to be in love to have good or great sex, and Edward knows this…he will try it out more in the upcoming weeks before he goes home for Christmas.

'You were wonderful' Her lips press against his as she says this in a sleepy tired tone.

Edward has his arm around her body as they just lie together. And for a moment, a totally inappropriate moment, he thinks of Bella. But not like that, he thinks about what he would say if she asked. Asked him about love and sex again. He would want to tell her the truth, but what he loves about her is her innocence and faith that the world is good, and good things happen if you have faith. Her belief that everything will be amazing, that innocence which surrounds her because she is just 14 years old, still a child.

* * *

**December 1997**

**Bella is 14**

**Edward is 19**

'I'm 14 now'

'I know' Edward eyes her wondering what is going on in her head. 'And?'

'We can talk about more grown up things now'

'Why?'

'Well you are 19 now, and a grown up'

'I have been a grown up for years now' He is ready to finish school. He won't be done for another 3 years, the 1st year flew by, now he is in his second year, 1st semester. He is having a great time out there, amazing. The people, females, friends, it is all still wonderful. He looks forward to heading back after Christmas and summer. Bella, he still misses greatly, and more and more as they both get older.

* * *

**July 1998**

**Bella is 14**

**Edward is 20**

**Jacob is 18**

Jacob looks at Bella come from the lake. He smiles, she is just so beautiful. He is a red blooded American 18 year old male. And she is a very beautiful soon to be 15 year old young woman. He heads to university at the end of the summer. New York University, he got a scholarship.

'I don't know why you won't come in with me anymore' She laughs pulling a towel to dab at her wet face.

'I like to watch you' He tells her staring at her.

'Stop' Bella smiles wrapping the towel around her body and sitting next to him.

'So where Mr. Masen at today?'

'Um, I think he and his wife are at the country club'

'Funny' Jacob mutters he reaches out and touches her wet hair and pulls it back.

'What?' She turns her head and smiles at him.

'I am going to kiss you sometime soon' He is going to do it before he leave, he wants to say goodbye, see you in a few months right.

'Are you asking me if you can?' She questions him a bit dumbly because she is sort of unsure.

'No, I am not asking, I'm not going to ask you, I'm just gonna do it'

'Oh' She says softly. 'Now?'

'No' Jacob smiles. 'Not now, but soon'

'Okay' She whispers. Jacob is just wonderful, having Jacob and Edward in her life since she was 7, and 7 years later, this experience with her father and moving to a whole new place, would not have been the same without them. She wants to kiss him also.

She is at that age where her body is feeling different; it looks so different so yeah she wants to kiss him. Licking her lips she smiles shyly at him.

* * *

**September 1998**

**Bella is 15**

**Edward is 20**

'You are turning into a beautiful girl'

Bella looks up slightly startled at the voice in the very quiet home library. Edward left a few weeks early for his 3rd year at school. 'Mr. Masen'

'Bella' He responds.

'Yes?'

'Homework?'

'Hmm' She says starting to pull her things together. Mrs. Masen told her ages ago she could feel free to use the library for homework. 'I'll get out of your way'

'Edward'

Biting her lip she looks at him.

'You two can't seem to stay away from each other'

'Well we are friends'

'Is it more than that?'

'I don't understand' Bella stands holding her school books.

'I can see why Edward would want to hang around you'

Bella looks around the room, and then to the door. 'I have to go' She moves quickly past him. 'Excuse me' She says exiting the room quickly. She rushes out and heads to the cottage with her books clutched to her chest.

* * *

**End of August 1999**

**Bella is 15 *16 in a few weeks***

**Edward is 21**

**Jacob is 19**

Edward is going to start his last year of school. He'll graduate in May 2000, he is excited. "I heard you went to the dance with Jacob"

"Yeah" Bella smiles her feet hanging in the water of the lake. She smiles as she nudges Edward. She went to the dance back in May with Jacob, the Spring formal. It was really nice. Jacob goes to school just in the city. He doesn't commute much, maybe every 2-3weeks he will head home for the weekend. Sue will fawn over him and do his washing, feed him up good.

"How was that?"

"Fun" She mutters looking across the water. "Want to swim?"

"Sure"

"Really?" He never wants to swim really.

"Yeah, then I want to draw you"

"Okay, deal?"

"Yup" Edward watches her pull her tank top over her head and exposes flesh he has seen many times before. 'Where did you get that suit?'

"Do you like it?" She grins adjusting the bikini top.

'Does Charlie know you have that?"

'I don't care if you do; it's not for you anyway'

'Who' He watches her lower herself into the lake and push away from the side. The day is just stunning. The sun is high, the clouds are scarce, and the sky is a crystal blue reflecting perfectly into the water. '-pray tell who is it for?'

'No one' She ducks under the water and comes up to find him already in. Her eyes go to his neck and bare shoulders.

'Jacob?'

'No, no one I said' Bella ducks under again swimming back a bit. Coming up she meets him eye to eye. He is fast.

'You can tell me if you want to look pretty'

'Pretty?'

'Hmm'

'Do you think I look pretty Edward?'

'Bella' He warns her. He thinks she looks amazing but she is not yet 16 (almost) and he is 21.

'I've already kissed a boy' She says in a carefree tone.

Cutting his eyes a bit at her he frowns in his brow. 'When and who did you kiss?'

'End of summer last year' She mutters treading the water. 'Jake' She kissed Jake before he left for school. Well he kissed her. But she has kissed someone. Her eyes were not meeting his the whole time. She was looking at him, but not really until she said Jacob's name.

'Jacob' Edward repeats. He takes a hold of the small floating raft which his mother placed in the lake because Bella was down there so often. His mother really loves Bella. He really loves Bella. His father is a difficult man.

'It just sort of happened'

'Are you dating him?' There is a wrinkle in his brow.

'No, we are just friends'

'I hate to be the one to tell you this Bella, but once you take friendship to the next level, that-' He watches her reach out, tired of treading water and take a hold of the raft also. '-is it'

'Well you are wrong, it has been a year and we are still great'

'You, but Jacob, I know, he probably wants more' He knows he would want more.

'You are wrong" She rolls her eyes at him and turns her head to the side.

'Nope, I'm right'

'Nope, you're wrong' Bella pipes.

'Right'

'Wrong'

'Right'

'Wrong' She says growling because he is being so annoying right now.

'Right' He grins.

Sighing softly she stares at him. 'Edward?'

Edward doesn't answer her with any words or sounds. He sort of half smiles at her and his hand reaches out under the water and finds her floating hand with ease. He pulls her closer to him.

Her hand that is holding the raft slides in the same direction closing the gap between the placement of their supporting hands and floating bodies.

He sighs out roughly against the skin of her face. Edward looks at her eyes flutter closed. He has wanted to kiss her for a while now, right now, presently more so than he has before. It was wrong before, it is still sort of wrong now. But she is not a little girl anymore really. Her maturity level was never really that of a little girl. She is a funny soul really.

'If you' She mutters opening her eyes. 'You will change things'

'You said I was wrong' Edward points out.

'Are you?'

'I dunno' He says softly and leans in pressing a kiss to her mouth lightly.

* * *

**Oh not to worry, you will find out what was on the tape he got in for Christmas 1996 **


	9. Chapter 9

**Aw is anyone even reading this?**

**Thanks Debslmac & Marion & Shamatt0403 & SherieHearts **

**With that taken care of if you like it review, if you love it review, if you have questions, review. If you hate it….nevermind.**

* * *

**Chapter 9**

**End of August 1999**

**Bella is 15 *16 in a few weeks***

**Edward is 21**

**Jacob is 19**

Jacob stops suddenly and his eyes are on the lake. Not the lake per say but the people in the lake. Staring for a few moments too long he shakes his head slightly in disbelief and turns around quietly going back the way he came.

Bella moans very softly, she doesn't know what to do with her hands or her mouth.

Pulling back he looks at her. It wasn't a passionate kiss; it wouldn't win an Oscar or any award. It was an on the surface top of the lip kiss. That was it. Edward looks at her.

Licking her lips she looks back at him, she feels him shift away from her.

"I shouldn't have kissed you"

"Why?"

"You are 15"

"15 and a half"

"You are 15" He tells her sternly.

"I'm almost 16"

"And I am almost 22; do you have any idea of how illegal that was?"

"Edward please" She rolls her eyes and moves away from him. "It was hardly anything"

'Wow' He thinks looking at her turn around and start to pull herself onto the large floating raft. That actually hurt a little more than he would like to admit. "I'm glad you thought so" Her body is beautiful. It is not sexy in what one would think is sexy. But she looks likes a young woman. She is so different from when he first met her. So much more mature in her look now.

Bella pushes back from the edge in case he wants to get up. Looking at him still in the water holding on she says nothing.

Edward clears his throat and pulls himself up to sit on the floating raft.

Scooting back some she places her feet flat and rests her arms on her together knees. Bella merely turns her head to the side slightly. She looks at the birds fly around before completely disappearing. The small flowers are covering the grass at the bank, and beyond. She is not sure what kind of flowers they are, they are small and all yellow, very dainty, possibly weeds.

He looks at her and she looks so small. He now regrets kissing her.

Turning her head slowly to look at him she licks her lips. "Kiss me"

"No"

"Do it" She says in an almost changeling way. "And do it like you mean it"

Edward stares at her. Everything about how right this feels is completely wrong. He knows that. "You are a little girl"

Bella glares at him. "No" She pushes forward and crawls over to him, placing herself right in his direct line of vision. "-I am not" She pushes herself into him, onto him. Pushing him back quickly she plants her very inexperienced mouth over his. She wants to kiss him. He is so loving to her and attractive and she is a young woman. It is only natural that she finds him beautiful. As close as they are she still wants to kiss him, and not like one kisses their brother.

Edward opens his mouth in response to her light attack; his hands hold her naked sides. This is wrong. Pulling his head back, resting it on the wood no longer craning up to meet her in the deep kiss. This one was passionate, it might get a nomination, and it still wouldn't win.

Her small hands are pressed into the wood planks of the raft on either side of his head and she stares down at him. Leaning in once more she presses a lighter, more like the first kiss to his mouth.

"Did you get what you wanted?" He mutters.

"Yeah" Bella sighs before pushing up from him and jumping into the water leaving him alone on the raft.

* * *

"Jacob" Bella smiles greeting him.

"Bella" He greets her.

"Where have you been all afternoon?"

"Um, well" Jacob clears his throat and takes a seat next to her at the table in their quarters.

Arching her eyebrows she waits.

"I saw you kissing Masen"

"Oh, it was nothing" She rolls her eyes.

"No, clearly it was nothing between us"

"I-I don't, I" She stops. Both kisses were meaningful in different ways. Jacob was her first kiss, a friend, a best friend. Edward, well he was her first real kiss. A real kiss because she feels more than a best friend for him. The best friend feel is there but it is now a bit more than that. It is not more than that with Jacob. "Are you mad at me?"

"No" He looks at her eating her bowl of cereal in the early evening.

* * *

She has wondered, recently now more so than ever before, if Edward could be in love with her. She doesn't know if she is in love with him, she knows she could be. You know that real type of lifelong love. If she ever told him this she knows him so well that she knows what he would say. Something along the lines of 'Bella…stop it' He rarely takes chances. But she is only 15…and a half so. Smiling she rolls over in bed and snuggles her head down.

* * *

"Were you not going to come and say goodbye?"

Bella looks down from the tree at him. "I knew you would come and find me" She gets down with ease and stands before him.

It is his last year and he is looking forward to it.

"This is it then" She whispers looking at him.

"Yeah"

"Um, I don't know what to say" She tells him very softly.

"Not like you" He tells her with a laugh.

Bella sighs and looks down at her hands. "Edward?"

"Don't say anything" He whispers taking her hands and bringing them to his lips he presses two kisses on her upper hands.

"See you at Christmas?"

"See you at Christmas" Edward agrees.

Sighing a huge shaky sigh she forces a smile. It feels so unlike them, forced, not natural between them right now. She watches him turn and head off. "Edward, wait" Bella runs the short distance to close the space between them up.

He looks down at her.

"Look, I'm sorry I kissed you I just didn't think, I thought it would be fine like me and Jake" Fiddling with her hands she lowers her lashes. "Please don't go with us like this"

Edward takes his hand and cups the back and base of her head, he pulls her hair into a small vice of a grip and pulls her head back slightly so he can look down at her and her up at him. Leaning down he takes her mouth against his.

Bella shakily darts her tongue into his mouth, her hands go to his chest and she presses her fingers against it.

Edward pulls her a bit closer to him by pushing her head up to his mouth where he lets his tongue stroke hers lightly.

"Hmm" Bella moans softly before she almost cries out when he pulls away. Panting she steps back his hand falls from her hair freeing her. She has never, her eyes dart around; she is not sure what just happened. She loved it, but she is not sure.

He fights the thought about how wrong that just was and he smiles at her. "I'll call you" This one might win an award.

"Okay" She squeaks out nodding.

* * *

Mrs. Masen smiles. "Do you like it?"

"I can't take this" Bella says stammering with each word.

"Of course you can"

"But"

"I already spoke to your father, it is not a new car, but" She shrugs looking at Bella's shocked face.

"He said it was okay?"

"Yes, of course"

* * *

"I didn't say it was okay"

"Mrs. Masen is under the impression you did"

Charlie looks at his 16 year old daughter. "I-well…"

"Dad please" She begs.

"Yes, its fine, I just, Bella know where you come from, just don't get caught up in the gifts, the extravagant gifts"

"I'm not, but a car, how cool, Mrs. Masen is so awesome"

"It is very cool" He touches his daughter cheek.

* * *

**December 1999**

**Bella is 16**

**Edward is 21**

Jacob laughs with Bella. "God it is cold out here, you coming?"

"In a while" She stays put looking across the lake. It has started to freeze. She can't wait until it does so she can skate on it. Licking her dry chapping lips she thinks of Edward home today. Unaware if he has arrived yet she lets her eyes fall shut. When they last saw each other and spoke face to face, well she hasn't forgotten it.

"Okay, I'll see you lata" Jacob says heading off.

She is so excited; he has one more semester left after this and will be home for good.

"Hey little girl" Edward calls.

"How long have you been down there?" Bella says surprised, Jacob just left.

"10 minutes, I was making sure you weren't kissing Jacob"

"I didn't, I wasn't" She laughs climbing down the tree. She is too long to be climbing trees but…she can't very well sit on the snow covered ground.

Edward smiles at her standing in front of him, waiting for something, anything…possibly a kiss. Leaning in, he pecks her lightly on the mouth.

"More" She begs with a smile.

"No, you are gonna put me in jail"

"I won't tell" Bella laughs. She wraps her arms around him when he wraps his around her. "I missed you"

"Likewise" Edward mutters kissing the side of her head lightly. "I have some news"

"News?"

"It is not great really" Edward pulls back.

"Well I don't want to hear it, I don't want it to ruin Christmas" She tells him stepping back and turning around to face away from him.

"Well you are going to find out"

"What?" Bella turns around and touches her cold cheek.

"I am going to get my CA degree"

"What is that…accountant?"

"2 year program starts in September 2000"

"Y-you-you are going to be gone another two years?"

"Yeah"

She doesn't want to hold him back; well it's not like that between them. She is not his girlfriend or wife to say something like 'she doesn't want to hold him back from his dreams' but she seems like her want for him to stay and be with her here is kind of the same thing. "Well that's great" Bella forces a smile.

"Really?"

"Yeah-yeah" She gets out. "I am so happy for you" She will be graduating high school when he graduates from this two year program. They will just miss pass each other. Then she will be leaving and he will go on to the rest of his life, as she starts hers.

"Thank you" Edward pulls her into a warm embrace.

Clinging on to him she thinks about him, being gone another two years now. Bella shuts her eyes tightly at the thought.

* * *

**December 1999**

**Bella is 16**

**Edward is 21**

Edward Sr. walks into the library and sees Bella standing as she looks out of the window. He walks in and the shutting of the door causes her to turn around suddenly. "It's not Edward" He tells her when her eyes settle on his form.

Bella sucks in a breath. "Excuse me" She says quickly her arms folded over her chest as she moves towards him in an effort to get to the door.

"He is out with Tanya Denali"

"He told me"

Edward Sr. scans his eyes over the young girl that came to live on the Estate many years ago. She has blossomed so very much. "They will get married Bella"

Bella scoffs in her head. Not because she wants to marry Edward but because she highly doubts he and Tanya will be getting married.

"If he doesn't marry her, he will marry, someone"

"I am certain he will" Bella says. She watches his hand reach out and rub up and down her arm.

"As beautiful as you are, your full lips" Edward Sr. smiles at her. "Cute nose, these light freckles on you" Edward Sr. reaches out and touches her throat, and he feels her flinch away. "He won't marry you"

She doesn't know what to say, it is such an odd thing for him to even say, to bring up. "I have to go and find my father" Bella tells him.

* * *

Edward sits across from Tanya. Here we are again" He says with a smile sipping his wine.

"Do we have a choice in the matter?"

"The matter?" Edward questions.

"The matter of us"

"Oh" He laughs. Tanya is a great woman, just not the woman for him. He thinks she is aware of it just as he is.

"Yeah, do they have our seating arrangements planned for the reception?"

"I am sure our mothers are working on it with each dinner date"

"Yes, I'm sure" Tanya says with a small smile.

"I do not expect you to want me to marry you"

'No" She says quickly.

"No Tanya" Edward grins. "You could be a little broken up by that fact"

"Oh, right" She smiles picking up her cloth napkin and lowering her head. She lets out a soft sob, and pretends to dab her eyes with the napkin. "I wish you would love me" She says in a faux pained voice.

"Tanya, dear" Edward plays along and touches her hand on the table. "I do love you, I am just not"

"In love with me?" She questions throwing the sad face and lip pout right out at him.

"Yes sweetheart"

"How will I go on?" She jokes.

Edward smiles at her, his green eyes twinkle. "I am sure you will break someone's heart down the line" He tells her seriously.

"And you Edward Masen, you will break a whole buggy full of women's hearts…if you already haven't" She eyes him.

* * *

"Hey"

"Edward" Bella whispers harshly. "What are you doing?"

"How was your night?"

"Okay" She whispers. Her and her father's living area is not big. It seems much smaller now that she is getting larger. "How did you get…"

"The door" He frowns. She and Charlie live in the lovely two bedroom cottage on the grounds. It is reserved for the grounds keeper. He loves this cottage; it is the perfect mix of rustic and modern. Charlie doesn't lock really lock the doors. It is very safe around here.

"Smart ass" She frowns.

Edward smiles. He is sitting on her bed pressing his hands on either side of her sitting up body looking at her, he grins.

His green eyes are so bright in the dark, it's really strange, but they look lovely. "How was the date?"

"There will not be a wedding" He frowns pouting his lip out. "I know you were counting on me getting out of your life but"

"Edward" She laughs.

"Shhh" He hushes her quickly, Edward laughs a bit when she throws her hands to her mouth holding anything back. Charlie likes him, but he is a father and would not be happy with a man in his daughter's bed, fact.

"Are you going to stay with me?"

"Tonight?"

"Yeah"

Edward scans his eyes over her face and smiles a bit. She is so pretty, really lovely. Flawless skin, beautiful eyes, luscious lips which taste so good. And she is 16. 'Damn you idiot' Edward curses himself. "I'll stay, but behave yourself"

* * *

Her legs are crosses and his are as they sit in the middle of her bed face to face. They have had to many, thousands and thousands of talks. Since she was 7 and moved in with his family. Just so many. And nothing gets old; it is so relaxed and right.

"Are you gonna name your kid Edward?" She knows his grandfather on his dad's side was named Edward, and his great-grandfather. He is not just Edward Jr. He is Edward the 4th.

"I have no clue Bella"

"Do you want kids?"

"No, not really" He thinks about it for a second before answering.

"Why?"

"Go to sleep"

"I'm not tired; and it's Christmas break"

"Cause I just don't"

"It is because of your father?" Saying that sends chills down her spin. His father is nothing like one would think a father should be. It isn't warm, he doesn't seem kind. Only a self serving kind really.

"I don't relish being like him"

"What about your mother, your wife may want children like she wanted you so badly"

"You know what I think Bella?" Edward stares at her.

"What?" She whispers very softly to him. She can feel he is about to say something, something with a bit more meaning to it than just a passing comment.

"I think the reason that it took my mother so long to get a child and why she couldn't have another is, well" Edward pauses. "Is because of my father, he wasn't meant to be a father"

Bella just stares at him; his words are a bit chilling. She reaches out and touches his prickly cheek as a comfort for him. "Well you were meant to be a father" She tells him softly with a smile.

"How are you so smart?" Edward smiles at her, her hand still touching his face.

"I don't know" She takes her hand from his face while smiling the whole time and she lies back snuggling down. "Kiss me good night?" She questions him hopefully.

Edward looks at her. "No, I can't"

"Please" She whispers.

"Bella it's wrong"

"It feels alright" She tells him with thought.

"But it really isn't" Edward licks his lips.

"I like it" Her voice is a soft whisper.

"You are too young for me to be kissing you" He takes one hand from the bed and cups her cheek.

Bella responds by sighing softly and turning her face into the palm of his hand. "Please?"

Edward knows better he is a grown man. "No"

"Fine" Bella mutters yawning.

He smiles at her eyes shutting. "Sleep tight"

* * *

Edward stays put on the bed for a while, taking a photo in him mind of her sleeping. He will go and draw her. Sneak it under his bed for when he leaves in January, give her something to find.

Bella moans softly in her sleep shifting a bit.

Leaning down he presses a light, very light kiss to her mouth. "Night" Edward says softly. As he leaves her room in the cottage very, very quietly.

* * *

**Bit of heartbreak up next…**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

**End of June 2000**

**Bella is 16**

**Edward is 22**

**Jacob is 20**

Jacob walks through the lush long grass towards the lake.

Bella smiles expecting to see Edward. "Hey, what are you doing here?" She stands up from sitting against the grand tree.

"Coming to see you"

"Oh, hi" She smiles at him. Normally Jacob keeps back when Edward comes home, for the first few days. Then things are back to normal with the hanging out.

"He is not coming" Jacob headed 'home' for the summer a few days ago. He spent some time with friends before headed to Masen Manor. He is really enjoying school.

"Did he miss his flight?" Bella wonders. The Masen's went up for his graduation, and she was/is so proud of him. They barely…if even, spoke this semester. It was his last she knows he must have been so busy finishing this stage in his life up, so it was okay the lack of speaking. But it is summer now, she is excited to see him and find out what has been going on. Just talk to him about any and everything. He will be back at school in the fall so she will soak this summer with him up. She can't wait to see him.

"No, he has a guest"

"A what?" Bella smiles from confusion.

"A guest"

"Oh, that's strange, are you sure?"

"Hmm"

Bella looks at Jacob funny, he is acting weird. "What is it?"

* * *

Bella enters the main house through the service door, one she normally uses. "Sue, have you seen Edward?"

"I am getting staff ready to serve them lunch"

"Who?"

"The Masen's"

"A welcome home lunch?"

"Yes"

"He didn't come to the lake to meet me"

"Oh honey, he is just busy, I barely got to speak to him or his girlfriend"

"His what?" Bella frowns right in the middle of her face at Sue.

"Could you grab that tray there?"

Bella pulls the silver tray down and rests it near Sue. "His what?" She repeats trying to keep her voice cool.

"Girlfriend Bella" Sue says in a slightly irritated voice, only because she is busy.

* * *

"And you two will be going to Europe then?" Mrs. Masen questions over the dinner table.

"Yes" Charlotte says with a smile to Esme Masen.

"Wow" Esme looks at her son with wide eyes, pretty much telling him this is kind of big. Big for just meeting in January and now spending a summer in Europe together. She cocks and eyebrow up at her son, he quickly lowers his eyes.

"Well son" Edward Sr. says in a hearty voice. "This is a big step" He is thrilled, he is not too happy this girl is not Tanya, but she will do. She comes from a good family as far as he knows.

"It is going to be a relaxing summer, a summer away" He says very pointedly to his father, only the pair of them knowing the meaning of it.

Esme looks between her son and husband. "Have you seen Bella yet Edward, she has been excited as always of your return"

Edward glances at his father.

"She is the help" Edward Sr. states mainly for effect and Charlotte.

"She is not help" Esme defends.

"Nor is she your daughter Esme" Edward Sr. says slightly bitterly to his wife.

Esme forces a smile. "Have you spoken to her?"

"I have been busy with Charlotte" His answer sounds almost as bitter as his father's did to his mother just now. He cringes at how he just answered his mother. He shouldn't have spoken to her like that.

"Right, of course" Esme lowers her eyes to her plate.

"Who is Bella, should I be worried?" Charlotte laughs a bit.

"No, not at all my dear, she is our handyman's daughter, Edward and her were good friends once upon a time" Edward Sr. speaks up.

Esme frowns. "January you seemed to still be friendly with her" She is confused. 'were?' She thinks.

Edward clears his throat. "I don't want to talk about Bella" He says looking at Charlotte and smiling leaning in he presses a kiss to her mouth.

* * *

Esme finds Edward alone. "What is going on?"

"Nothing" He makes a face as she is touching his face lightly all over with both hands. "Mother" Edward scolds her a bit.

"Tell me what happened between you and your father" She knows something has happened, she can feel it.

"Wh-what do you mean?"

"Where is Bella?"

"How should I know?"

"You two are best friends that's how…how do you not know, how have you not spoken to her?"

"Mother she is a child, we grew apart"

"Oh" Esme says just a little shocked, grew a part of a few months, she isn't buying it.

* * *

Bella stands in the hall, she shouldn't just be there, but she is. He has been home all day and hasn't even come to see her. She has not seen him. It is so strange. She goes to his shut door and really wants to see him, and hug him. Biting her lips she turns away and heads back towards the cottage. The walk is a good one, she needs to clear her head of whatever that is brewing inside.

* * *

Walking slowly with her towel slung over her shoulder she is in a short dress with her suit underneath. Jacob is nowhere to be found, Edward… Bella just is deep in and out of thought as she walks. She is not sure where he is. Touching her warm cheek she watches her feet lift up and down as she walks through the long skinny grass towards the lake.

* * *

Edward smiles sitting on a checkered blanket. It is something right out of a movie. The set up, the plan, the idea, certainly thought through. His green eyes settle on Charlotte. She looks beautiful and she really is. No one can dispute her beauty. His eyes scan over her face, though beautiful certainly it is still not everything.

"Do you bring all the girls here?"

"No" The answer is honest. He has never brought anyone here; this is not a place for dates or other beings really.

* * *

Stopping short in full view, in return she has full view. Bella's mouth falls ajar. Her eyes go back and forth between Edward sitting sort of feeding this woman. And woman looks like a movie star. Well her back looks like a movie star. A pain in her stomach finds its way through her body as she looks at this person in a place she has come to think of as a special place. A place which is really just between herself, Edward and Jake.

He notices her right away, he almost felt her coming. She is so grown up since January. Since he left her after Christmas. His eyes flicker and meet hers for a moment. "Excuse me" He says to Charlotte.

Charlotte turns and sees a young girl standing not far off, but back enough. Not sure who it is she looks at Edward stand and her head and eyes follow him as he walks towards the young girl.

Bella watches him come over. Her eyes run over him. She has to bite her lip to keep from running and jumping into his arms from the sheer excitement that has been building in her. She forgets the fact that he brought someone…girlfriend? To this place.

"Hi"

"Hi" She says softly. "What is going on?"

"Having lunch"

Her head shakes a bit, back and forward.

"What?"

"You haven't seen me"

"It has only been a day"

"I know, but" She looks to the woman turning to look at them. "Who is that?"

"Charlotte Barnes"

"Who is she?"

"I just told you"

"I mean" Bella blinks and tips her chin more up to him. "Is she your girlfriend?"

"Yes"

"Oh, I" Lowering her head she pauses a few moments. When she finally lifts her head she finds his green eyes to be drug like.

"We are going to Europe for the summer"

"What?"

"To spend some time together, travel a bit"

"This summer?" Everything seems like it is too much right now. Just speaking to him, it's not like he has been home for a week, but they see each other within the hour of him returning home. And right now it seems strained and she doesn't understand why. Things felt so good when he left, now this. She shakes her head because she really is confused. Maybe this is how she is supposed to feel, at 16, confused about everything.

"Of course this summer"

Sucking in a breath Bella frowns still confused. "Did I do?" Last time they spoke it seemed like…it seemed like there was… "Are we?"

"Bella you should go, I have to get back to"

"I-I should go…from here, the lake?"

"Yes"

"You are asking me to leave this area?" This is her place, well it is his families but she, she and Sam, and it's hers.

"No I am telling you" The look on her face is being burnt into his memory, and it hurts.

"Wha-I-I" She feels confused. "What about, what about us?"

"Us?" He says incredulous to her, almost in a mocking disgusting tone.

"Edward?"

"There is no us"

"I don't understand"

"What don't you understand, you are a child to me, there will never be an us, ever"

Bella shuts her mouth quickly and holds her lips tightly to stop them from quivering. He is being horrible and she doesn't understand.

* * *

**January 2000**

_'Do you want her to succeed?' _

_'Yes, of course I do' _

_'Then you know what you need to do'_

* * *

**June 2000**

"Go"

* * *

**We will still get to what was on the tape & all of this reasoning…don't fret!**

**Next Chapter will be a movement, time jumps around, back and forward. I'll keep up with the months/year/ages etc…**

**Thanks to all still interested in this!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Once again I will do talking in ' ' if it is in the past. It should be easy to follow providing you just keep an eye out for the dates.**

**NOW we are going to pretend Bella is graduating at 18 going 19 not 17 going 18 because I need another summer. I don't know how that boo boo happened. But that's the deal.**

**Hope you enjoy and will review!**

* * *

**Chapter 11**

**2000**

**Edward is 22**

**Bella is 16**

It was hard…the summer without him. She felt alone most of the time, even though Jacob was around, her father…school friends. There was something missing. Edward. A lot of the time she felt like weeping like a child. That was certainly unacceptable because that would just solidify Edward's new thoughts about her. They are her, always and forever being a child in his eyes.

The more the summer went on and into the fall the harder it got. It's funny because the more time that passes the easier it should have gotten.

* * *

**End of Summer 1998**

**Bella is 14 *going 15 soon***

**Edward is 20**

**Jacob is 18**

Jacob takes her face lightly in his hands. 'I'm gonna kiss you' He tells her right before he pulls her close and kisses her thoroughly.

Bella feels light headed from the kiss. It was a nice kiss. Pulling back and looking into his eyes she smiles. It was her first kiss.

'I love you Bells' Jacob pulls her head close and rests his cheek against the top of her head. They wrap their arms around each other tightly.

She wants him to stay here with her at the Manor because she knows when he goes she will be lost and an utter and complete mess. During these years she has created such a bond with Jake and Edward, the same and very different. And it seems as though everything is falling apart around her in terms of any type of friendship left for her at Masen Manor.

* * *

**September 2000**

**Edward is 22**

**Bella is 17**

Even though she knows, she still can't help but wait for his call, a call she knows is not coming. He left early this past summer and he didn't return before going to school. The last time they spoke, he told her to leave the lake. She is still hanging on to those words, they clutch at her heart, it makes her chest ache.

* * *

Charlie smiles and hands Bella a wrapped gift. "Happy birthday" He touches his daughter's cheeks. He can't help but do this each year, remiss about how much older she has gotten and how mature she has grown. A beautiful young lady.

Bella smiles taking the gift. "Thank you"

"It's not much"

It is never much but it is always something special.

She is 17; Charlie can't believe the time that has passed since they came here to Masen Manor. It was the best thing he could have done for himself and Bella. Bella was always the reason, always, for doing anything. This little girl, no young woman, is his life, completes everything.

* * *

Edward fucks her with every ounce of energy he has in him. He wants to be totally spent when it is over. He wants to fall asleep as quickly as humanly possible. It is good, great even, but his mind is elsewhere. With Bella. She is 17 today, and he has not even acknowledged her existence since he told her to go from the lake.

Completely and utterly painful. And it had to be done, for her sake.

"Oh" Charlotte sighs, laughing in the back of her throat. She touches his chest lightly covered with hair and shuts her eyes. "Oh that was good" She licks her lips slowly opening her eyes to look into his face.

"Wonderful" Edward agrees, it was wonderful. He doesn't want her to fall in love with him; he is not falling in love with her. And it has nothing to do with Bella. He is here because there is no other choice.

* * *

**Early Jan/00'**

**Bella is 16**

**Edward is 21**

Edward Sr. stands in the dark hall near his son's room. His feet are apart, and hands are braced on his middle.

'Dad' Edward is a not shocked to see his father. He just came in from being at the cottage, in Bella's room, it was wonderful. Talking and watching her sleep. He is headed back to school to finish his last semester before what he expects will be a great summer with Bella before two years of hard work.

'You need to stay away from that girl'

'What?' He is a 21 year old man, and being told to stay away from someone is very strange even coming from his controlling father. But not because this is Edward Masen Sr.

'She will only drag you down'

'How will she do that, she is very smart, and focused?'

'Because if you don't stay away from her, she and her father will be on the streets with two high school degrees between them and nothing more' Edward Sr. makes himself very clear to his son, not answering the questions on hand. He can't have his only child getting serious with the help. It will never work. His head is too airy fairy when Bella is around.

* * *

**Late September 2000**

**Bella is 17**

**Edward is 22**

Sitting cross legged on the floor of her room she has a box before her. It contains cards, cards from each year of her life and each birthday she has shared with someone other than her father. Cards are in the box from other Masen Manor employees, friends, Jake, and Edward. Looking through them she opens some up and smiles as the fond words and memories of that particular year she is reading from.

There won't be a card this year. The cards from him stopped at 16. Shutting her eyes Bella drops the stack of cards down next to her and she pulls her knees close to her body burying her head in them.

* * *

**December 2000**

**Edward is 22**

**Bella is 17**

**Jacob is 20**

She is a vision. He couldn't celebrate her 17th birthday with her but he called and sent her a card. "You are a sight for sore eyes. She is so different, he can't believe this is the same little spunky 7 year old he met 10 years ago. "Look at you"

Bella smiles stepping into his arms. "Look at you" She smiles.

He hugs her warmly; it is bitter cold right now. Christmas is just around the corner. He had a great semester at university. "How is school?"

"Oh, still the same" She smiles at him. Suddenly he takes her face and kisses her mouth lightly but it is firm.

"I had to do that" He mutters against her mouth before pulling back fully.

Bella flutters her eyes open a bit and smiles. "It was nice"

"Good" Jake whispers.

* * *

Sitting cross legged with her she laughs. "No, I am going alone" They are talking about the Spring Fling, month's away but still conversation worthy.

"No, you are not"

"Yeah" She nods.

"So boys aren't beating down the door for you?"

"No, sadly they are not" Lowering her head she shrugs before looking at him. "I am not even pretty"

"What?" Jake looks at her, she is beautiful. "Yes you are" Her eyes are brown; her dark/light brown hair is long and wavy. The change from blond to brown almost happened over night. The brown is her adult hair. Jake smiles. He already knows that he is in love with her.

Bella smiles at him.

"You have these freckles on your shoulders" Jacob stops. "That might possibly be able to bring the right man to his knees" He has seen them may times at the lake.

"Stop it" Bella scolds him. "But thank you"

"It is hard to say 'you're welcome' to something that is true"

Bella scans over his face. His skin looks so smooth and clear. His dark black hair fits so perfectly with his eyes which look equally as black but they must be brown like his hair. Looking away she feels herself looking at him in a different light. It could be hormones, honesty with herself, loneliness, or just his compliments on her. None one or all three, she doesn't know.

Jacob leans forward cupping the side of her face lightly before bringing her closer to place his mouth over hers. She tastes like pure heaven. He deepens the kiss and his other hand runs up the side of her body to mirror the other side of her dace.

Bella moans softly her tongue flicks with his, and she continues to kiss him back, until she stops suddenly. "I can't" she looks at him and whispers. Her mouth is hot and moist from him. Her body feels crazy and out of control.

"It's fine" Jacob assures her. "It's Masen, right?"

"No" Bella whispers quickly. The quickness of it gave her away. "It is not so much him as it is me, I need to let go, of anything I thought, and then everything that was" She tries to explain. "He didn't even call on my birthday" Bella licks her lips.

"I'm sorry"

"No" Shaking her head quickly she smiles. "Thank you for being here, and taking what I could give you"

"You are a wonderful person" Jacob tells her.

* * *

**January 2001 **

Her heart is broken, just broken. She didn't see him; she hasn't seen or heard from him since the end of summer. Bella walks through the melting snow towards the lake.

She knew he wasn't coming home at Christmas. Sue told her that she was packing the Masen's up to head off to spend Christmas in DC. She sits down on the snow covered grass and looks around. Jacob has gone back to school until May and she is going to get it together. Bella smiles. If anything Bella is strong and determined.

* * *

**April/May 2001**

**Bella is 17**

**Edward is 22**

Alice walks down the hall with Bella. "What are your summer plans Bella?"

"Um" Bella hugs her books to her chest. "Just staying here, gonna look up what I want to do for the rest of my life" Bella smiles and rolls her eyes. They are being prepped for the university application process.

"I started that already" Alice rolls her eyes. "My dad is set on Yale, my mum Harvard"

"Oh" Bella smiles. "I won't be going anywhere that fancy"

"You are super smart you may just get in"

"No" She shakes her head. "Something local, I don't know yet"

"It's not all terrible filling out the forms, it's just a lot of them" Alice is an alumni baby. She is a year younger than Bella mainly because Bella started and when she started she was placed in a lower grade. But it will be nice as they will graduate together next Spring.

"Hmm" Bella nods. She will start during the summer, she still has a lot of time, they need to be sorted by Christmas because she will graduate next May (02).

"You know Riley Biers has been asking around school about you"

"What?"

Alice stops with Bella outside her locker. Classes are pretty much over so the next week will just be closing down of everything and getting out. Graduation for this year's 2001 class. Finals are over.

"Why?"

"He likes you" Alice smiles watching Bella get her things from her locker.

"I doubt it" Bella mumbles.

"Why, you are cute"

"Thanks, but I am sure cute is just what he is looking for"

"Fine, hot, is that better?" Alice laughs.

"Yeah" Bella responds very sarcastically. "Sure"

* * *

**June 2001**

**Bella is 17**

**Edward is 23**

**Jacob is 21**

Edward looks at the cards he got for her birthday and Christmas. He is in an apartment. He got to move out the dorms when he finished his degree. The past year and the next he will stay in this apartment near campus. He loved the freedom of university life and he enjoys this apartment even if it is on his father's dime. He and Charlotte are back in DC having finished up the school year.

They stayed in DC; his parents joined them Christmas here. It was incredible, yet there was something missing in him. His father couldn't be more happy, nor his mother. They both love Charlotte and her family. The Barnes' family is the type that his mother and father would want to be a part of the Masen's. Sometimes, more recently than ever before he feels forced, his life is being pushed and now he doesn't even have Bella in it to keep in together. He didn't think too much about her role. They were just friends, but it was certainly a lot more. She kept him together. And he feels as though he is falling apart, piece by piece.

* * *

"You made it brother, 23" There is a group cheers for Edward. He has not made the trip home yet, he will.

"I'll drink to making it" He smiles taking a drink of his glass full of beer. Charlotte left for her parents' home for a few weeks with her friends. Come July he and his parents will have a house full. Charlotte will be bringing her mother and father to New York to spend summer there. Last summer in Europe, his parents joined in the spur of the moment. He didn't mind much because it certainly made the trip less romantic. That was fine because his head was not there.

Then it was staying put in DC for Christmas, now it is summer again staying put. He won't be able to avoid Bella as he has been this whole year. No longer a little girl. He hasn't seen or really spoken to her for a year…since this time last year when he told her she is just a child... she will be 18 this year November…not a child he can avoid any longer.

"What are your summer plans?"

"Staying in good old New York" Edward announces.

"Charlotte?"

"She and her family will join us"

"Wow" Emmett says with a slightly shocked look. "You both are serious" He really like Charlotte, she is a wonderful girl.

"Well" Edward shrugs. They are serious, how can they not be, the cheering team for them is very large, she is a wonderful woman.

"Good for you dude" Emmett says.

"You should come visit" Emmett and he are good friends, it started at Georgetown and Emmett is in Georgetown Medical now. Different career paths but still very close. This seems to be lifelong at this point.

"I may do that"

* * *

Jacob walks through the kitchen, he got in yesterday, the year as hard as hell. Never did he expect it to be so much work.

"Well, look who showed up" Bella comes out of the pantry and sees Jacob.

"Where have you been girl?" He pulls her into a hug.

"Here" Bella laughs hugging him back. "How was the rest of your year?"

"So tough" Jacob says touching the side of her face. "Glad to be home" He has one more year left and can't wait to get it over and done with.

"Yeah" Bella smiles.

"Yeah" Jacob lightly kisses her mouth. He doesn't feel her respond, she responds but the hidden not responding is there. "I'm sorry"

"No" She shakes her head and touches his chest. "No, its fine" Smiling brightly she grins. "We should swim"

"Still into swimming huh?"

"What else am I going to do?"

* * *

**DUM DUM DUM Edward is back next Chapter!**


	12. Chapter 12

**I was going to wait and post this, but I had nothing better to do before going to bed nice and early! *ugh Monday tomorrow***

**B****ella's gonna have a rough go – be warned. But I did say all this in Chapter 1. **

**And Yes he is an asshole indeed!**

**Oh BTW I still own nothing.**

* * *

**Chapter 12**

**July 2001**

**Bella is 17**

**Edward is 23**

**Jacob is 21**

Bella floats on her back in the lake. Jacob had something's to do. She did not expect him to hang out with her each moment. Clearly they are all very different now. That was made crystal clear by Edward and his actions or lack thereof in the past year. She is over it, and over anything and everything about him. Dipping her head right under for a moment she comes up no longer floating.

Swimming to the edge she pulls herself up and out. Her mind is full of lots of things. Riley Biers. He asked her out. She accepted. It is like her first date ever…it should be nice. Standing she rings her hair out and wipes the water from her eyes. Going to the movies she thinks casual is certainly the clothing route to go.

"Hi"

Bella didn't even hear him come up her eyes widen as she stands there like an dummy.

"How are you?"

Blinking a few times she stares at him. He is huge, so different. His hair, and face, there is more hair on his face. He looks the same but different.

"You look" Edward looks her over say 10 times since he watched her climb out of the lake. If anyone is different it is her. Her body is small but lean. The years of skating has done her body wonders. He lets his eyes roam over her again then settle on her unresponsive face. "Amazing"

Reaching down quickly Bella grabs her swim cover up; it gets a bit stuck as she is still soaking from just coming out of the water. She gives it a few tugs before it is down.

"I'm here for the summer" He is not sure if she knew he would be here this summer. Or that Charlotte and her family would be joining him and his family in a few weeks time.

Bella licks her lips. "I shouldn't be here" She mutters before taking a step towards him but turning to the side to avoid getting close to him all together.

"Stay"

Bella ignores him a moment and walks so she is past him and he has to turn around now to face her. Like they switched places. "Why?" She looks back at him.

"I haven't seen you"

"I know" Bella cuts him off. "In a year, or talked to me"

"I know"

"I didn't get the plague Edward" Bella cuts her eyes and looks down.

"It wasn't…"

"Your fault?" Bella guesses. "Yes it was, you are 23, not a baby, I don't even care" She says quickly throwing her hands up and turning to walk away again.

Edward gets to her very quickly and takes her arm stopping her effectively. "Listen to me"

"No" She says shaking her head. "I get it, I am young, you are better than me, trust me Edward" She tries to pull her arm away but can't. "You made yourself very clear"

"It's not like that" He stares at her face. "I'm sorry"

And he did it, his eyes, his voice, his face everything she remembers about him is back. "I have to go" She mutters softly.

"Look at me"

Lifting her eyes to his she finds him smiling. But not one of his annoying smiles. "Stay" His father and mother are away until tomorrow.

"I have some place to be"

Edward frowns. "Where?"

"I am going to the movies"

"With?"

"You are not my father stop" She tugs her arm again. "Grilling me"

"I just" Edward lets her arm go. "I want to spend time with you"

"No" Bella makes a face. "I waited for you this whole year and now…now you want to make time for me?"

"Bella there is"

"A lot I don't understand, I guess so" She mutters. "I have to go" Bella turns around wanting him to stop her again. She knows if he does she will break.

"Spend the night with me"

Stopping in her tracks she shuts her eyes, her back to him. "What?" It comes out like a croak.

"I want to catch up" He clears up, because he could tell by her 'what' she was thinking something else.

Turning to face him again she stares. "I told you" Clearing her throat she sighs. "I am going to the movies"

"After that then" He would rather them sit against the tree together, right now until the sun comes up. But clearly that will not be happening.

"No" She tells him firmly. "No" She repeats again, as much for herself as for him.

Edward looks at her defeated. "Please?" He will beg.

"When your parents come back tomorrow, you will be back to ignoring me, when your girlfriend comes in you will be asking me to leave the lake" Bella shakes her head. "I would rather swallow hot coals than go through that again"

Edward feels guilty horribly guilty. "I'm sorry"

"Sometimes, when things are over" She shrugs sadly. "They are just over"

Edward watches her turn and go.

* * *

"It is a horrible book" Charlotte laughs. "Look at this dusty old thing" She smiles showing him.

"I love it" Edward tells her. He can see Bella has not touched it. Maybe she is just listening to the tape he made her…but that is slightly far-fetched considering the strain between them.

"Yes" She smiles. "I know"

Edward looks at her, they don't need to love or like the same movies or books.

* * *

"Bella right?"

"Hello" Bella greets the woman, this is the first time they have spoken.

"You are friends with Edward, childhood friends?"

"I wouldn't call us that" Bella mutters ready to finish heading to the library.

"Your father works for the Masen's?"

"Hmm"

"You are from Washington State right?"

"Yes"

"Do you visit much?"

Bella is holding some university applications.

Edward comes around, he was looking for Charlotte, and his parents want to take her parents and her to the club for lunch. "Hey" He looks between the two.

"Hi sweetie" Charlotte turns and kisses his mouth.

Smiling Bella excuses herself.

* * *

Sitting in the library she doesn't even have time to open a pallet before the door opens. Looking up she already knows it is him.

Edward looks at her and says nothing.

"What?"

"How was the movie?" He hasn't spoken to her for like 2 weeks, they have been skillfully avoiding each other, or she has been avoiding him, or him her…he doesn't know. It has just been two weeks and Charlotte and her parents arrived a few days ago.

"Fine"

"Are you alright?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"No reason" Edward answers. "University applications?"

"Yeah" She nods glancing down at them.

"Nice" Edward smiles.

"I guess so; it will be nice to get away"

"Looking forward to getting away?"

"Yes"

"Why?"

"Why not" A little shrug graces her shoulders. "There is nothing here anymore"

"No?"

"No"

* * *

"I think Edward" Edward Sr. says upon seeing the clear interaction which is still present between Bella and his son. They don't even have to say anything to each other and it is still there. "I made myself clear, get it together"

"I don't know what you are talking about, how much more do you want me to do?" Edward gets angry.

"Don't use that tone, you have Charlotte, she is a wonderful girl"

"And we are still together"

"I made myself clear where you need to stand with Isabella"

"And I have continued to stand there" Edward says before walking away.

* * *

**Late August 2001**

**Bella is 17**

**Edward is 23**

**Jacob is 21**

Jacob hugs her. "I'll see you at Christmas"

"I'll be here with bells on"

Laughing he presses a kiss to her head. "Have a good last year; enjoy it because the real world is coming"

"Gee thanks" Bella rolls her eyes. "You have a good last year, yours is real mine is just the beginning" Bella smiles biding him a farewell.

* * *

Bella watches from the landing Edward, Charlotte and her parents say their goodbyes. They are going back to DC and her parents to New York. Edward, he is such an ass. He pretended he wanted to make nice, be friendly and then she gets the cold shoulder. She was sort of giving him to cold shoulder but at least she was speaking to him. He just stopped again. Licking her lip she turns away from the goodbyes taking place outside and forgets it, and starts to forget him again. She can't wait until she leaves for school next fall.

* * *

"So is everything getting sent out, do I need to do anything?" Charlie questions Bella over the dinner she made for them.

"They do it at school" Bella confirms eating dinner with her father. They don't get to eat dinner together every night so when they do it is nice.

"So last year of high school" Charlie grins. "Are you happy here?"

"Yes"

"Really?"

"Yes, really" Bella smiles. "I am happy, are you happy?"

"Yeah, I am happier that you are happy, and going to get everything you want and need, I am sorry I can't give it to you"

"You are giving it to me" Bella says softly to her father.

"The Masen's are giving it to you"

"But because of you" Bella tells her father. "I love you so much"

"Oh Bella, you are an amazing young woman" Charlie takes his daughter's hand and kisses the top. "My sweet girl" He can't call her baby anymore because she is a young woman now. "Your mother would be so proud"

Bella bites her lip and smiles nodding her head. She only hopes her mother would be proud of her.

* * *

**November 2001**

**Bella is 18**

**Edward is 23**

Another birthday, the big 1-8, without anything from Edward, she still listens to his voice on the tape he made for her years ago. Frowning Bella pushes it out of her mind because she needs to write this paper.

"Studying hard?"

Bella looks up and sees Mr. Masen at the door shutting it. Frowning even more she nods. "Yup"

"Good girl, that's what we Masen's like"

"Yeah" Bella looks back down to her notes trying to focus with another person in the room. She can feel him and hear him just moving around not really doing anything. Lifting her head and glancing at him, he flashes her a smile.

"What are you doing there?" Edward Sr. walks over to the desk she is sitting at, coming up behind her he watches her tense.

Bella sucks in a breath and holds still. "I am almost done actually" She says gathering her things by pushing them all together. Him behind her is a bit strange.

"You are" Edward Sr. places his hands on her shoulders stopping her from standing up from her seat. "18 now, turned into quiet a beauty"

"Mr. Masen" Bella cringes making a face no one can see. "I have to get going"

"Hmm" His hands massage her shoulders firmly. "I told you before it would never work with Edward"

Bella says nothing to that truth. "I have to go"

"But" Edward Sr. leans down and his mouth his by her ear. "I think…we could work something out"

"No" Bella moves quickly to get from his grasps but it was like he was ready for her hurried pull away because she didn't move an inch. His hands are still firmly on her shoulders and his mouth is to her ear. She feels horrible. "Let me go"

"Isabella" He breathes harshly. She is very tempting. "Are you are virgin or did my son get to you first…or that boy Jacob?"

"Mr. Masen, I don't" Bella is ready to cry. "I just want to go"

Edward Sr. kisses her ear, his tongue then peeks out and touches the outer shell of her ear, and he feels her shiver.

Bella cringes from the touch. "Stop it" She tugs her body away with no avail.

"So you are?"

"Mr." Bella almost cries out when his large hand grips and squeezes one breast.

"Do you like that?" His lips cover the back of her neck and side near her pulse. He watched her change right before his eyes; never would he have envisioned her to be such a sight. He wants her, it is very simple. Edward Masen Sr. gets what he wants.

"No, I will scream" Her voice is shaky and scared, very small.

"No you won't" Edward Sr. pulls her to her feet roughly and turns her to face him. "You wouldn't dare" He says harshly his lips crushing brutally against her mouth. He kisses the whimper right away.

* * *

Charlie peeks his head into Bella's bedroom. "Honey, Bells?"

Bella shuts her eyes tightly and pretends to be asleep. Nothing more comes from her father.


	13. Chapter 13

**This has been said from Chapter 1 – if you missed it as suddenly people are starting to read/review the story now. Please go and read it. It has been said: it might not have a HEA, there would be abuse, and dislike of characters. **

**Take a read of the note in Chapter 1 to remind yourself what you are getting into.**

**WARNING:**

**You will not like this Chapter. So be warned!**

**Anyways moving on. I was going to change it to appease people, but honestly I know what is going on, what's going to happen and I can't really change it. So…**

**Be warned.**

**If you don't want, don't read. I'm warning you!**

**You have been warned.**

**That is all.**

* * *

**Chapter 13**

**December 2001**

**Bella is 18**

**Edward is 23**

Alice finds Bella. "Hey you, where have you been?"

"Hi" Bella smiles.

"Are you okay?" Alice looks at her friend with an intense stare; her eyes look slightly dark and sunken in. "You look thin"

"No" Bella shake her head. "I'm okay, just busy" It has been 2 weeks. School is slowing down for the upcoming Christmas break, which causes her to slow down.

Alice smiles. "So the word on the street" Alice laughs lightly at her street talk. "Riley says you blew him off for the second date" She makes a face. "He is a nice guy"

"I've been really busy Alice" She doesn't want to talk about Riley, he was months ago, she doesn't want to talk about anything.

"Heard anything from your school?"

"I won't until after March, at least"

"True" Alice is excited to go to University and move out. Her parents are great, but she is ready to become an adult. "How is Edward, are you two speaking yet?"

"I have to go" She feels slightly ill right now.

"Oh, okay" Alice smiles watching Bella walk away.

* * *

There was not a place in the house Bella wouldn't go. But now she stays at the cottage. Even the lake is barely a thought. The thought of feeling safe is no longer there. She doesn't feel safe therefore she is not going to go throughout the Masen Manor. She is never going into the library again.

* * *

"I just don't know Edward" Charlie speaks into the phone. He and Edward are rather close. That boy is a good man, Charlie is well aware that Edward has had it hard. His parents are difficult. He works for them and can see that. He can't really imagine what it was like for Edward growing up with them. Esme tries but not hard enough, not hard enough for her child. "I know you both are going through something, and I don't want to, well I don't want to butt in but" He knows Edward and Bella kind of drifted apart, he doesn't know the ins and outs but he does know this.

"I understand, Charlie…when did she start…"

"Behaving like this, I don't know I think, maybe 3 weeks ago…I wish I knew, I wasn't paying attention"

"You are a wonderful father" Edward says quickly resting Charlie's thoughts aside. "The best father I have ever known"

"Please call her; I know you will be home soon" He knows this is Edward's last year on his two year degree and this is crunch time, but he is not sure what to do about Bella. She looks like she has lost weight. She is tired all the time. He doesn't know what happened.

"Yeah" In a week's time he will be back in New York…he is sure Bella can hold off until then.

"I am sure you have exams, but" Charlie rubs his chin. "I am sort of worried"

"I know you are" He knows Charlie wouldn't have called if he wasn't really worried.

"She just seems to be so different"

"Okay, I'll call her tomorrow"

"Thank you"

* * *

Bella lies in bed, school is out for Christmas break and she loves not having to go into school, loves not having to leave her bed. Or see anyone.

Jacob barges into her room.

Screaming a short pitch scream while sitting up from the shock she sees it is only Jacob.

"Hey, crazy"

"Jake get out" Bella demands.

"What?"

"Please, um please get out" Her legs swing over the end of the bed and she rests her feet on the floor. Sitting she looks at her legs.

"I thought you would be happy to see me" He frowns.

"Oh, yes" She nods quickly. "Um" Licking her lips she forces a smile.

"I see you are busy…I'll catch up with you later" Jacob looks at her and then walks out of her room shutting the door.

* * *

"Bells phone" Charlie pokes his head into her room. "Why are you still in bed?"

"Tired, I guess" Crawling out of bed she walks to the phone in the living area where her father has it up. "Hello?"

Charlie smirks to himself and leaves their shared perfect cottage.

"Bella, hey"

"Edward?"

"Yeah, hi" He smiles upon hearing her voice.

"Wh-why are you calling me?" Tears leak from her eyes. Everything just hurts.

"Well, Charlie was worried about you"

It clicks. Her heart clenches. She aches for him, his comfort what they share, shared when they were growing up. How she could lean on him, count on him. She aches for it now.

'Damn' He curses himself, Charlotte is looking at him and he didn't think. She is getting them packed as they are leaving in a few days to spend Christmas with his family.

"I should go"

"Wait, wait, I"

"You didn't want to talk to me"

"I did, listen"

"I'm tired, good night" Bella hangs up the phone and walks almost zombie like to her room and crawls back into bed. She couldn't really let go after it happened because school is so demanding and it kept her together. School being out is causing her to fall apart. There is nothing to keep her busy and mind from wandering right now.

* * *

Edward Sr. hugs Charlotte. "My dear don't you look lovely, she looks lovely right Esme?"

"Lovely" Esme hugs Charlotte. "Was the trip alright?"

"It was great, everything looks amazing" Charlotte says looking around the large home.

"We waited for you both to arrive to decorate the tree" Esme smiles. "Leave your bags; I'll get someone to get them"

Edward looks around his home. His eyes meet his father's for a moment.

* * *

"Where is she?" Edward is in the servant's area.

"What are you doing here?" Jacob makes a face and questions.

"Where is Bella?" He doesn't even acknowledge Jacob's questions because this is his house.

"I don't know I haven't really seen her since I got home"

"Why?"

"You are concerned I haven't seen Bella, normally your-uninterested-in-her-self is concerned when I do see her" Jacob stares at Edward. "Make up your mind with her will you"

"I am not discussing this with you, thanks for your time" Edward walks past him. He heads out; he grabs a golf cart and drives over to where Charlie is working.

"Edward, hi" Charlie smiles, he knew Edward was back for the holidays today, but he is shocked to see him today.

Edward is no stranger to spending time working with Charlie. He is no stranger to the cottage. "Is she at the cottage?"

"Not sure"

"Lake maybe?"

"She hasn't been to the lake in weeks" Charlie rubs his hands together. "It's frozen yet she hasn't been skating"

"Really?"

"Yeah" Charlie nods.

"I'll check the library"

"Not there either"

"What?"

"Not like her right?" Charlie nods pretty much saying 'see I am telling you'.

"No, not at all" Edward frowns. "I'll find her"

* * *

Charlotte runs into Edward on his way out the door and grabs his arm. "Honey, your parents want to have tea"

"I need to find…"

"Now" Charlotte pulls his arm down and presses a kiss to his mouth.

"I really need to go find Bella"

"Bella, that girl who lives here?"

"Yes, I'll" Edward holds her face. "Just keep it between us"

"Oh" She says as he presses a kiss to her mouth.

"Please?"

"Okay"

* * *

Esme smiles and pours the tea. "What could be more important?"

"I don't know" Charlotte lies.

Edward Sr. looks at Charlotte knowing where his son is.

* * *

Edward runs through the thick snow to the lake and stops suddenly looking around the white.

He spots her standing next to the large tree bundled up warm. Walking over he looks at her leaning on the tree. "Bella"

Turning to his voice she looks at him.

"Hey I've been looking for you" Edward says coming closer and laying his eyes on her. "Are you okay?" Edward grips her face lightly and kind of tips her head back like he is takes stock of each contour of her face. His thumbs touch her cheeks.

"Let me go" She whispers softly there is no energy left right now. She wants to be alone. She knew he was coming home, and just wanted to be alone. It is cold; she didn't think he would be out here. She assumed he would be bundled at the house with his family.

Dropping his hands to his sides he stares at her. "You look ill"

"Thank you"

"I don't mean it like that"

"I'll go" She swallows hard moving to walk past him.

"Wait a second I came to see you"

"Did my father send you?"

"Bella, it wasn't like that before" He always wants to talk to her. But he doesn't want to send her mixed messages. He has pushed her away for her own good and can't keep tugging on her like a yo-yo. He needs her but he can't do it.

The feeling in her chest tightens. "I am tired". 'I'm angry, I'm hurting' Her head screams at him. But she remains quiet.

"It is 2 in the afternoon"

She looks at him and walks right past his body.

* * *

Jacob walks in and sees her lying on her bed. He slowly lies down next to her stretching out next to her curled up body.

Bella says nothing. She doesn't even move an inch, her eyes are open, and she saw him come in.

"I think Masen and I are finally coming to terms, or something"

She can't very well shut her ears to him.

"He is worried about you; I am worried about you, what happened with you?"

Bella shuts her eyes, she is very tired.

"Get up, you love this season" Jacob demands. If anyone thinks they get excited about Christmas, they haven't met Isabella Swan.

There is a slight tightening in her chest, he does care about her.

Turning over Jacob spoons her and slowly, lightly rests and arm over her body. "You can tell me, what's happened?"

"Nothing" Bella whispers out, she turns suddenly into his body and buries her head down.

Jacob sort of freezes and then wraps his arms around her.

* * *

Edward looks at Jacob, licking his lips he waits.

"I hate tag teaming with you, or sharing anything because I think you are wrong man"

"Fine, I am wrong, you know it I know it, are we done yet?"

"Yeah, we're done"

"Is she okay?"

Jacob shrugs. "I don't know, she is just not herself, I am not sure if there is anything which caused it or just her changing"

"Something caused it" Edward says with conviction. Thinking a moment he looks back at Jacob. "Thank you"

"You don't deserve her, I hate that she is in love with you"

"She isn't in love with me" Edward says making a face. They love each other, but she is not in love with him.

"Yes she is, has been since she was little, you are just too stupid to notice" Edward says walking away.

* * *

"Oh" Charlotte grins hugging him. "It is so beautiful"

Edward smiles and kisses her lightly. "Glad you like it"

"I love it" She grins. "Put it on me" She holds out the necklace for him to place around her neck. Turning her lifts her blonde hair up out of the way.

Edward frowns fiddling with the clasp. "There" He watches her turn around slowly.

"How do I look?" She does a little bounce with a cheeky grin.

"Wonderful" He smiles at her, he sees her but for some reason he doesn't see her.

* * *

Charlie pushes a wrapped gift towards Bella.

Looking at her father she says nothing before she takes the gift. "What is this?"

"It is Christmas…if you didn't notice" Charlie says arching his eye brows.

"I did, Merry Christmas dad"

"Well open it" Charlie smiles. He got his daughter a leather notebook/journal for her 18th birthday to jot down the notes of life pretty much. "It's not much"

Bella opens the gift somberly. "You always say that" Bella says softly. "But it is always" She meets her father's eyes. "Wonderful"

"You are wonderful" Charlie says to his daughter.

* * *

**January 2002**

**Bella is 18**

**Edward is 23**

"I know you think I don't care about you, god knows Jacob does" Edward speaks, he is not sure if she is actually listening. He and Charlotte are flying out this afternoon. He is stealing a few moments with her in her room.

Bella lifts her eyes to meet with his.

"I do, you just" Edward looks her over. "I care about you"

"Have a safe trip Edward" Bella forces a smile. Being near him without being his friend is hard, and she is just tired of trying, she tried and tried and failed each time. Now she just doesn't care to try, or give anything.

"Don't do this"

"Do what?"

"Stop being like this, like you don't care" His voice rises with each word.

"Like what, what do you want me to say, don't go, please stay, I love you?" Bella stops and looks at him. "Everything hurts and I know you can make it better, is that what you want to hear?"

Edward looks at her. "Why does everything hurt?"

Lowering her eyes for a moment she pauses not able to form the words, not sure if she can form the words.

"Why?" Edward pushes just enough before he pulls back.

"He raped me"

"What, who…Jacob?"

Bella stares at him, shocked that his first thought is Jacob. "No" She sighs out. "Your father"

"What?"

"Right after my birthday, in the library…I didn't" She feels it coming with ease as she speaks.

"Stop it" Edward demands staring at her with slightly hateful eyes. "Why would you say something like this?" His father is a hard man, a hard father, but he is not a monster. Monsters' rape and hurt people. His father just wants the best for him; he knows this is why he has been so hard on him, forcing the best from him. His parents have been so kind to Bella and Charlie. By putting her through private school and have plans to pay for her college. He reckons she will get a scholarship if she applied for one anyway.

"What?" The mental slap in the face shocked her.

"I-I, I know we have had a hard time…but why would you be so cruel?" Edward stares at her shocked, and hurt. There are a lot of things going on with him, inside him right at this moment. He can't figure out up from down or left from right as he stands looking at her.

"I'm not, I needed to tell you"

"Bella, I was doing everything for you, and you say this, I know you don't understand what and why, but it was for you" He tells her, his voice dripping with hurt. "I'm sorry you couldn't see that, but to say, for what, what reason?" He pushed her away for her own good, Charlie's good, when he only ever wanted to be close to her, share like they used to. The memories that fill the years are enough to circle the world twice over. He wanted that all this time, and he could see an end to the distance between them. He was waiting for it with bated breath. He could touch it. But hearing this. It has knocked him off side.

"Edward" She whispers his name; she would never have told him if she thought he would look at her with such hate. Licking her lips she looks away. "It happened"

"Stop it, just stop"

"How can I stop, I can't stop thinking about what he did to me"

Edward stares at her; he turns around and walks away, leaving her standing there.

* * *

**Yes it is okay to hate Edward now. But no matter how shitty his dad has been to him, and he knows it, that is his father. Sometimes it is hard to see right away. But he will get there, sooner rather than later not to worry! *_which is an odd statement I know_***

**OKAY since you made it to the end:**

**Teaser! **

**Chapter 14**

**June 2002**

**Bella is 18**

**Edward is 24**

"Screw you Edward, just, I'm done" She throws her hands up and turns to go before she is roughly pulled back again. "Ooo stop" She shoves him. "Stop it"

"If you want me to give you something that will make you go, make everything I have done worth something tell me, what do you want, a kiss, sex, what?"

"You make me sick" She shoves him away as he holds her close around her body pressing her against him.

Edward doesn't even feel her rough assault as he just stares at her. "Bella, take the money"

"No" She wants nothing more from the Masen's. Nothing.

"Just take it, go to school far away if you want, but take his money" Pushing her away, staying away from her so that she will get the best will all be for nothing. Nothing, if she doesn't take his parents money and go off to school and become something amazing. He knows she will be.

She feels like a common whore, taking his money as a repayment for the sex he took. She wants to laugh at it all. And cry. Turning her head away as she is still against him, his arm around her body. "When I do" She sniffs.

Edward looks at the top of her head.

"I'm not coming back"

"If that's what would make you happy"

"It is" She admits. She wants to be far away, her father will be fine, Jake will be fine, she will never have to see Mr. Masen again, and Edward, well he has always been fine without her.

Edward holds his arm around her body still, holding her close; he can feel her silent sobs erupt in her body. He is not sure he would be happy without knowing she is at Masen Manor, or will be back during vacations there.

"Let me go" She says, not just her body he is holding but everything he has of her.

"Bella"


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

**June 2002**

**Bella is 18**

**Edward is 24**

His parents have been away since they came up for his graduation in May. He traveled back home alone as they went to Europe. It was nice to have the house to himself. Charlie gushed about Bella graduating high school. He smiled and looked at each photo burning it into his mind.

* * *

"Why haven't you answered these?" Charlie holds up the acceptance letters.

"I'm not going that's why" Bella mumbles kicking off her shoes.

"Bella they have deadlines don't fool around"

"Dad" Bella sighs. "I can't afford to go, I'll just get a job, and an apartment"

"A what, and what?" Charlie says all while shaking his head.

"I'm not living here for the rest of my life" She speaks of Masen Manor. "I'll find something in the city, I don't know yet"

"Isabella Swan what is going through your head?" He wonders if he is getting the horrible teenage years now. This is not the time for fooling around, gambling with your future. He stares at her. "Pick a university" He demands.

"We can't afford it"

"Mr. Masen and Mrs. Masen have already spoken to me about paying for"

"No" Bella shakes her head; her eyes stare at a spot on the floor. "No, I'm not letting him"

"Bella, don't be proud" He cups her cheek and feels her flinch away but he holds her firmly. "I want more for you" He says. "You are so smart, you can continue your first class education"

Bella bites her lip and shakes her head.

* * *

"What?" Edward says to Charlie.

"She is not going, what is in that girls head?" He wonders aloud. "I know you two, something" He shakes his head. He doesn't know what is going on with them. What has been going on with them. But Edward can reach her when no one else can. "Talk to her for me?" Charlie pleads.

Nodding he picks up some wood as he and Charlie move it to the trunk. "Of course" But he intends to speak to his father as soon as possible before hand.

* * *

"Where is your lovely girlfriend?" Edward Sr. asks his son. He and Esme got back two nights ago from a wonderful European vacation. He expected to see the lovely Charlotte with him. His son is a full accounting graduate. He doesn't know his plans yet. He needs to ask Charlotte for her hand. And move back to New York fulltime.

Edward stands in the large library. "She is flying down in a few weeks"

"Good, when are you going to pop the question?"

"Did you know Bella was not planning on going to school?"

Edward Sr. looks at his son. "I heard that rumor" Esme found out through Susan Black. He is pretty sure Susan and Charles Swan are sleeping together. He doesn't care as long as they keep it under wraps.

"Did you, any reason why that is?"

"No clue, I think she should re-consider, if she is worried about paying us back, she must know that is not necessary"

Edward eyes his father carefully, he watches for any truth in what Bella accused. "You have no idea why she would deny something she has been planning for years?"

"No idea, at all" Edward Sr. says rather forcefully. "Talk her into it"

"Now you want me to talk to Bella?"

"To get her to go to school, there is no reason for her not to"

"No?"

"None at all" Edward Sr. states firmly. "Now I am very busy here" He dismisses his 24 year old son.

* * *

"You told Edward" Edward Sr. finds her.

Flinching at his presence.

"He didn't believe you" Edward's behavior was telling the other day when he was bombarded with his questions. "Did you think he would, and then run away with you, a fairytale?" He stares at this young woman before him. "It is not going to happen, as much as Edward thinks he hates me…I am his father and you are just a handyman's daughter, now a liar"

"I will distance myself from you and your family" She wants nothing to do with any of these people; they are the worst kind of people.

"Don't be a silly, the best thing is for you to take this chance we are so kindly offering and go to school"

"I want nothing from you" She hisses out. For him to stand before her like nothing happened. She rubs her head and steps further away from him. His presence is sickening. Maybe Edward is right, maybe nothing happened. Bella watches him wink at her and retreat the same way he came.

* * *

_Bella squeezes her eyes shut, she thinks about her mother, father, Jacob, Edward. She can barely breathe, tears leak from her eyes at how brutal Mr. Masen is being with her, but tender also, it is so wrong and awful. Her hands come up shaky and push his shoulders. 'Just stop' She mutters turning her head away from his mouth. It is not right, nothing about it feels good. It feels good with Edward and he thought that was wrong, but this doesn't feel good certainly is wrong. 'Please' Bella whispers out before his mouth takes her again._

* * *

But something did happen.

* * *

"Charlie told me you aren't going to university, you got accepted to all that you applied to and you aren't going, what are you planning on doing?" He is fuming, so mad. He hasn't spoken to her since he left her in her room after she told him that his father raped her. But he had to intervene when Charlie asked him. He was hoping to get lucky the entire summer and stay out of Bella's way. It was better like that, things didn't hurt. The distance didn't hurt as much.

Bella stares at the still lake. "Go away"

His father told him to talk her into it, and by damn he will. "No, no" Edward tugs her arm making her look at him, or through him whatever she is now at least facing in his direction paying somewhat attention to him rather than being so rude and closed off. "You are going"

"I'm not"

"Yes you are even…" He growls in her face unable to control the anger pouring through him. She claims his father raped her, now she is not going to school; he stayed away from her so that she would go and then maybe they could have something, as adults, their own controlled friendship, she would have her education it is only 4 more years.

"Let me go" Bella tugs her arm away. "We have nothing to say to each other ever"

"What, how do you think I feel, you accuse my father of such a horrible thing, and now this, don't you get it?"

"I get that someone I thought we my best friend in the world thinks I am a liar, I don't" She pauses thinking. "I'm done; you want to know what I am doing?"

"Yeah, I want to know what you plan to do with your life"

Bella tugs her arm free. "I am getting the hell out of this place"

"Is this about us, me not being with you like you want, Jacob told me you are in love with me"

"Fuck you Edward, just, I'm done" She throws her hands up and turns to go before she is roughly pulled back again. "Ooo stop" She shoves him. "Stop it"

"If you want me to give you something that will make you go, make everything I have done worth something tell me, what do you want, a kiss, sex, what?"

"You make me sick" She shoves him away as he holds her close around her body pressing her against him.

Edward doesn't even feel her rough assault as he just stares at her. "Bella, take the money"

"No" She wants nothing more from the Masen's. Nothing.

"Just take it, go to school far away if you want, but take his money" Pushing her away, staying away from her so that she will get the best will all be for nothing. Nothing, if she doesn't take his parents money and go off to school and become something amazing. He knows she will be.

She feels like a common whore, taking his money as a repayment for the sex he took. She wants to laugh at it all. And cry. Turning her head away as she is still against him, his arm around her body. "When I do" She sniffs.

Edward looks at the top of her head.

"I'm not coming back"

"If that's what would make you happy"

"It is" She admits. She wants to be far away, her father will be fine, Jake will be fine, she will never have to see Mr. Masen again, and Edward, well he has always been fine without her.

Edward holds his arm around her body still, holding her close; he can feel her silent sobs erupt in her body. He is not sure he would be happy without knowing she is at Masen Manor, or will be back during vacations there.

"Let me go" She says, not just her body he is holding but everything he has of her.

"Bella"

"Just let me go, I can't take much more" Her hands touch his chest and she tries to push away from him once again.

Edward stares at her face and he is aching inside for some reason. He knows if she holds true to what she is saying she will be gone come the fall, for good. He knows she wants to leave because of him. He hopes she didn't say this about his father in an attempt to keep him or get him with her. He can't see that, but he also doesn't see any other reason for it. His other hand reaches up and touches her cheek.

"Just" Her tears flow freely, it feels amazing to be in his arms and she wishes he would give her what she needs, and she doesn't even know what it is, but, she doesn't have it from him yet.

"I didn't push you away because I wanted to, I did it for you, just take his money, okay"

Nodding her head she sighs softly looking down now, her eyes are on his chest but she is not looking at it or anything, just a staring off gaze.

"Okay" Edward whispers to her, he presses his lips to her forehead before letting her go, and in the next second almost before he could open his eyes from the tender forehead kiss she is gone.

* * *

**September 2002**

**Bella is 19**

**Edward is 24**

"I think I only feel okay because you are in Washington" Charlie says looking around Bella's dorm room. "Because your Great Aunt Violet is 30 minutes away, and you have her number" He doesn't know why Bella picked a university across the country. But she said this is the best arts program she saw. He doesn't know whether to believe her or not. But she is the one that got accepted into all these schools. So he trusts her.

"I will be fine"

"I know" Charlie touches his daughter's face. "I just worry, I will be in New York and you will be all the way up here" He looks around his hand still on her cheek. You're 19" He grins.

"See a big girl"

"A young woman, have fun, not too much" He warns her with a laugh. "But enough. Call, at least once a day"

"No, twice a week"

"Three times"

"Deal" Bella smiles.

"You will do something I never got, I am so glad you did this, I don't know what Edward said to you, but he is a miracle worker" Charlie smiles he knows the two of them haven't spoken all summer, something is going on, has been for a few years now. He figures they will be okay.

"He didn't say anything I needed to hear" Bella says softly.

"Well, you are here, and you will be wonderful"

"Thank you"

* * *

Edward is officially home for good. He got a job easily, but didn't start until the fall. Sitting at his desk he looks at his computer. His mind wanders around, mostly he is thinking of Bella. How is she doing, when he speaks to Charlie at the house he is upbeat and happy to say that Bella is wonderful. This is from what he hears more than twice a week. Charlie passed along her number to him.

His finger scrolls over his screen. He looks at her name in his contacts. He has picked her maybe a dozen times, he has yet to press call. For some reason his chest hurts with wanting to call her. The past few years have really been hell, hurting her as he stayed away from her. Now her moving so far away, he is back and honestly he thought she would be going to school in state.

His finger taps again lightly over the call button; he presses it down before swiftly hanging up. He holds his cell for a few moments before resting it down.

* * *

**December 2002**

**Bella is 19**

**Edward is 24**

**Jacob is 22**

"You are ridiculous for not coming here for Christmas, Charlie is so not happy"

"Oh I got an earful, and every time I have spoken to him since I told him what I was doing, I've gotten an earful" Bella sighs shrugging to herself. "I love it here" She really does, the weather is different. Piss poor. But being away, not feeling trapped, hurt, and angry. Not feeling it over powering her is what she loves. Forgetting, she loves that too.

"I miss you"

"I miss you too Jake" Bella smiles. "You need to come and visit me"

"You come and visit us, everyone is here" He points out.

"Yeah" Bella agrees everyone she doesn't want to see. "We'll see, but have a great Christmas okay?"

"You too"

* * *

"I want to know what is going on with the pair of you" Jacob questions him.

"I want to know how she is" Edward glares.

"You want to know, call her and ask"

"She doesn't want to talk to me"

"Good then you don't need to know how she is" Jacob turns to walk away.

Edward grabs him by the shirt on his shoulder.

"Get off me" He shoves Edward.

Edward shoves him back. God he hates Jacob, and there is no valid reason, Bella has always and will always be between them.

"Bastard" Jacob punches him, out of line slightly for no reason.

Edward slams him in the face right back. "How is she?" He yells.

"Fuck you" Jacob hits him again.

"You little shit"

"You have a" They are tousling around now grabbing each other's clothing and trying to trip each other up with feet. "-freaking girlfriend, leave Bella alone"

"I don't need to leave her alone, how is she?" Edward jabs his knee up against Jacob's stomach, causing the man to gasps for breath.

Jacob slams his hand into Edward's face again once he regains his balance knocking him to the floor. "Screw you, you wanna know, call her up" Jacob walks off leaving Edward on the floor.

* * *

**NO Edward doesn't end up calling (he's a little shit)**

**BUT up next we have:**

**Bella getting some help**

***US* Finding out what is on the tape he gave to her years ago**

**And some flashbacks. These are actually flashbacks so I may do them in italics. But the date and ages will be there to guide you so no one is confused.**


	15. Chapter 15

**Thanks for people that are still reading this!**

**Cheers**

* * *

**Chapter 15**

**January 2003**

**Bella is 19**

**Edward is 24**

Bella has her legs crossed she sits and fidgets like a crazy person. She is certain the university counselor thinks she is crazy. Maybe she is.

"How have you been adjusting since your first semester?"

"Um, good, I got all A'"

"That is wonderful Isabella"

"Just Bella, please"

"Okay Bella, why don't you tell me why you're here today"

Bella shifts again in her seat.

Dr. Yates watches Bella with a careful eye. "Does anyone know you are here Bella?"

"No"

"Is it because you don't want anyone to know or it just hasn't come up" Dr. Yates questions.

"Both I guess, I live across the country, well I live here" She rambles, my father he lives across the country. "I um"

"Take your time"

"I was raped" Bella lifts her head to look at the Doctor. "14 months ago"

Dr. Yates gives nothing away.

"I can't tell anyone" Bella whispers.

"You told me, that is a good step"

"I just want to know, it will get better I guess"

Dr. Yate's looks across at Bella, she has bowed head again. And she seems to stare into her lightly folded hands. "That depends on you, what you are willing to let heal"

"What do you mean?" Bella questions lifting her head.

"Your body, mind, spirit, all still yours, he didn't take that away from you" A lot of people feel like they have been stripped of everything, but they haven't.

"Sometimes I am not sure"

"When you figure out whether you have control over those things, you will start, so…do you?"

"I guess so"

"Your body is healed in physical wounds; the deep rooted ones are the important ones"

"Being intimate you mean?"

"Yes, only you can decided what you need, mind, there is no way not to think about it, no way at all, but you can attempt to find peace with what happened, if you don't his actions will take over your head"

Bella nods. She just doesn't know what she can do.

"You will become broken, and in pain…there is always ways to heal"

"I don't have anyone I can trust"

"You can trust me" She smiles at the young woman. "Father, mother?"

"My mother is dead, and my father works for him…I can't tell him"

"Okay, best friend is the next choice" Support from people you can trust and depend on if willing is key.

Bella almost laughs at how everything has turned. "His father"

Dr. Yates tries her very best to control the shock of emotion which she knows is trying to stay down as she hears this.

"It's alright, he didn't believe me"

"I'm sorry" She knows it must be…will it is hard when people you trust don't believe something, especially something of this grandeur. "Are you both still close?"

"No" Bella looks away because it hurts.

"Do you want to be?"

"Yeah" She nods quickly her hand flying to her cheeks so she can wipe the tears the away.

"Tell me about him"

Bella sighs softly. "Do I have to talk about him?"

"No, not at all, but he created such a reaction in her, more so than bringing up your attack and attacker" Dr. Yates is interested in knowing why.

"He, um we met when I saw…7"

Dr. Yates makes notes.

"He was 13"

"Was the relationship inappropriate?"

"No, no" She shakes her head. "Never, it was a friendship"

"Was it ever anything more?"

"I think I wanted it, I did want it, that's what makes it hurt more I think"

"He is hurting you?"

"It feels like he started and never stopped"

"Did you tell him?"

"He went away; he left me and cut ties"

"After the rape?"

"Before, from the time I was almost 17, he just was hot and cold"

"That hurt you a lot, still does?" It is sort of a question and sort of an observation.

"Very much" Bella whispers, she thinks about how close they were. How he told her to leave the lake. The hot and cold he was giving her, then it all turned cold. Cold and empty. "I was okay that he thought I was too young for him, and didn't love me like I, I guess I loved him, but the distance emotionally and physically, it killed me" Bella wipes her hands over her wet cheeks again.

Dr. Yates looks at this young woman with a lot of pain.

"I am trying, I was moving on when I was raped and now, I thought I could trust him, and I can't" Sucking in a huge breath she forces a smile. "I'm fine"

"It is okay to let go, and be vulnerable"

"I need to be strong and focused, thank you for your time"

"You can come back anytime"

"I might do that, but thank you" She wants to get out of here. Standing with Dr. Yates, Bella extends her hand and the two shake.

* * *

"Can I come with you?" Charlotte looks at him packing a small carryon case.

"No" Edward just glances at her. "I'm sorry"

"Well I can't say I understand" She has a job now, he has a job, they live together in his parents large home. They are very much living the dream, meeting in University and making it all the way through together. Marriage is the next step on their map of life.

"I know, I just"

"It is always you just when it comes to Bella"

"That's not fair" Edward stops holding a dress shirt and looking at her.

"No?"

"No, I barely have spoken to her in the whole time the whole time we have been together"

Charlotte sighs softly. It will be 3 years next week. "Are you blaming me for that, I didn't know about her"

"There is nothing to know about, she is a childhood friend, I want to pop up and say hi"

"I, I just feel like there is more than I know between the two of you"

Edward comes closer to her and cups her face. "There is nothing more, we were never romantic or anything like that"

"There doesn't have to be a teenage romance for it to be something" Charlotte points out and is hushed by his lips on hers. He is so perfect.

Pulling back. "I will be gone 3 days, tops, and then I will be back here so that we can plan our fall wedding" Edward smiles. Everything moved too quickly. He has no outlet, no one to see at the lake swimming like a crazy person, no one to talk to and make him see how crazy he is and how un crazy she is. Only making her sound crazier. He misses those times.

Grinning from ear to ear she pushes up to kiss him.

* * *

Her neck is up, throat exposed as his lips make a trail over the smooth skin there. Shivering slightly she enjoys it. Part of it could be, well is forced enjoyment, but some of it is real.

Kissing her neck slowly he feels her shiver at his touch. "I want you"

"Yeah" Bella nods; her long dark hair covers her face when she straightens her head so that she can look at him in his face.

His hand reaches up and pushes her hair from her eyes. His hand circles her middle and pull her over him now. Smiling he kisses her mouth.

Bella with shaking hands holds his face to slow the kiss down. Doing this makes the kiss seem like a tender lovers touch, she wants that.

* * *

Pulling her underwear off he glances up at her. She is so damn beautiful, and soft. Holding himself above her he presses kisses on her neck and sucks her throat.

Bella squeezes her eyes shut and forces the tears back. She knows it is not wrong, but can't help but feel like she shouldn't be doing this.

* * *

Thrusting smoothly into her he grunts into her ear.

Bella almost freezes at the memory of Mr. Masen grunting roughly in her ear as he assaulted her. Instead she pushes the thoughts away and grips onto him. She never did that to him, he is not Mr. Masen. Lifting her hips trying to make it feel good, she fails. She doesn't feel pain, but there is no euphoric feeling you hear about.

Thrusting and moaning his release he tenderly kisses her mouth. "Thank you"

* * *

"Bella"

"Hi" Bella smiles. "I know I don't have an appointment"

"No, it's okay I was going on lunch, but come in" She steps back over the threshold of her door way and lets Bella walk in before shutting it.

* * *

Wiggling her hands together. "I had sex last night"

"Okay, how do you feel?"

"Lousy" She lifts her head finally and sighs looking directly at Dr. Yates. "I don't know what…"

"How long have you been seeing him?"

"I haven't, he is in a class or mine"

"So it was random?"

"I guess so yeah"

"So I am going to interject for a moment, I know you want to get over the rape, and you can do that however you want, but this won't work"

Bella knows what she is saying; sleeping with anyone is not going to do it. Sex will not do it. "I know, I just wanted to feel something, he was so kind"

Nodding Dr. Yates listens. "And you want that?"

"So much" Bella nods, she wants to feel that amazing connection she had with Edward. She wants to be happy.

"Are you going home for the summer after finales?"

"No"

"I understand that, but maybe you need to see him" Him the best friend.

"No" Bella shakes her head.

"I believe he is the key to everything for you, and if he is affected by you, like I can see you are by him, it might be a mutual need to see" Dr. Yates is confused by herself; she is confused by Bella and this man's relationship. It seems like it boarded inappropriate and when they could be together it went south, even before him not believing her. She is confused as to why, and how inappropriate it got between them, how young she was. It is like she loves him for him and because it has only ever been him. Jotting down notes she pauses and looks at Bella sort of staring off at something across the office. Such a beautiful woman, it doesn't seem fair really.

* * *

"Yeah" Bella nods quickly. "I had a good time"

"But you don't want to continue it with dinner or something?"

Bella smiles. "Isn't dinner meant to come first?"

"Yeah" He runs a hand through his hair.

Her smile is just fitting her face perfectly. It is not over the top, or showing teeth. Just her lips widened as she looks at him.

"I like your smile" Garrett says reaching out and touching it with his finger.

He is such a nice guy. "Yeah" She nods, her eyes nodding also slowly as she looks at him. "Let's have dinner, friendly?"

"Wouldn't have it any other way" He smiles at her.

* * *

"So, how do you know Bella?"

Edward is being shown through the large dorm by a short girl. He is looking over her head as she glances back to speak to him. "Grew up together"

"Where was that?"

"New York"

"Ah, nice" She smiles.

"Yes" Edward glances at her as they keep walking. "Is it much father to her room?"

"Eager beaver hmm?"

Edward gives her an annoyed slide glance. He stops suddenly at the sight before him.

* * *

Garrett presses a kiss to her mouth lightly. "I'll see you tomorrow night" He mutters pulling back.

"Okay" Bella licks her lips. "Sure"

Garrett gives her a wink before turning and heading down through the stairwell which is closer to her door.

Edward rubs his jaw.

"Looks like you arrived a few hours too late" She makes a face and smiles before leaving him to his own devices.

* * *

Something causes her to looks to her right and there he is, that beautiful boy she has known since she was little. She looks at him and runs her left hand up into her hair.

He watches her run her fingers through and he can see each strand fall free as her hand moves. It looks very shiny and smooth. Like she smells like peach, he knows she does.

* * *

**July 1997**

**Bella is 13**

**Edward is 19**

_She is 13…14in the fall, Edward thinks as he looks at her lying back._

_'Why did you stop?' Bella lifts her head and opens her eyes to look at him staring at her. 'What?' She grins. She knows this book by hard now, and doesn't need to watch the words as he reads them, she knows when the page should be turned. _

_'What shampoo do you use Bella?'_

_'Um' She looks at him, it is not a feeling of uncomfortable with him, she feels very comfortable, but she is just surprised. "I use peach fuzz"_

_Edward leans in and inhales the scent of her darkening hair. 'It suits you'_

_'Really?' Her hand takes a long lock and brings it to her nose and she smiles as she inhales the scent. The Hobbit is sort of forgotten between them. "Here" She grins at him._

_'What?' He is stretched out supporting himself up from his hands placed behind him. The book which was on her stomach is now dropped on the grass on her other side. It is his fault for forgetting to read due to the scent of her hair drifting up…well it is really the light breeze fault for making the scent drift to his nose. Edward looks at her sit up and turn over. She grins. 'Bella don't'_

_'Hmm?' Bella places herself on his lap facing him, her legs on either side of his hips and knees pressed into the warm grass. And she is pressed against him. She can't help but smile._

_Moving he sits up more no longer leaning back and his chest touches hers. 'Off you go' She should not be sitting on him like this. Edward places his hands on her hips to lift her back on the grass._

_Placing her hands on his shoulders she stopped him. 'No'_

_'No?' Edward holds her hips waiting for more from that no._

_'I know, we can't…'_

_'We can't' He states firmly. He stares at her face, and her eyes darken under his stare. _

_Leaning her head, her hair is over his face, mouth, eyes and nose._

_Edward's fingers tighten on her hips as he breathes her in._

_Bella slides her hands from his shoulders down his shirt covered chest and she moves her head/hair over his face a bit. Her lips part slightly but she doesn't let any sound come out. She is 13 and has never kissed anyone. Hearing about her friends in school kissing boys and going so fast makes her want something if just a kiss._

_She smells amazing. Edward nuzzles the side of her head, his fingers press into her skin trying to make this come to an end._

_'Oh Edward' She moans her hips move to their own accord. The moment it comes from her lips she feels herself raked down against him, a brief push of real pleasure, and placed back next to him._

_Edward looks at her with wide eyes._

_'I'm sorry'_

_'I am sorry, you are only a kid' He turns to get up and go because she is going to land him in jail._

_'No, don't' Bella reaches out to grab his arm. '-go'_

_'Bella, please don't do that again' he tells her gently._

_'I won't, I'm sorry'_

_He is sorry, sort of sorry. 'Your hair smells beautiful' He lets her know creating a smile on her face._

* * *

**January 2003**

**Bella is 19**

**Edward is 24**

Once he is in front of her he looks at her eyes. They look sad.

"What are you doing here?" She whispers.

Edward clears his throat a bit.

Looking away from his piercing blue eyes she sighs softly. "Just go away" Bella turns to unlock her dorm room door.

"I flew thousands of miles to see you and, you tell me to go away?"

Bella stops in the doorway and turns to look at him. "Yes, I am telling you to go away"

Edward's face softens at her. "I will be here for the next three days, until Monday" It is the weekend; he thought they could spend it just trying to get past things. He needs to get over her accusation and she needs to get past him 'forgetting' about her. He never really forgot about her.

"I hope you enjoy your vacation, where is Charlotte?"

"Bella, don't, please don't do this" He is tired. "I need you"

"What?"

"I need you, in my life, my friend"

"Go away" She says ready to slam her door in his face. His powerful hand stops that before it even hands and he is inside her small dorm room.

"Bella" He doesn't even know why he is here, other than the fact he feels like his body is only a shell without her around.

She looks at him like he has lost his mind. As much as he evokes feelings of passion and love inside of her, he skillfully evokes rage too. She is so mad, and seeing him here, makes her even madder. It is like how dare he treat her like this, like he needs her, she needs him, but he won't give any of himself to her. "You expect so much from me, you always have"

"What?"

"You-you expect me to forgive you all the time, you are a classic poor little rich boy"

Edward stares at her.

Bella wipes her cheeks.

"This wasn't meant to happen like this, it just wasn't" He shakes his head.

She needs him to believe her. Bella licks her lips and takes a breath. "Ask yourself why I would make this up, to get you to love me"

"I do love you" He says quickly. "You know I love you" He thinks probably since he saw her dancing around in the mud at the lake when she was 7…7 and a half.

Bella ignores him, she can't even think right now. "To get us together, why would I try to hurt you and tell you this…do you think I enjoy hearing you tell me it didn't happen, when it did?"

"He is my father Bella" Edward says softly looking down. He has, since she told him, he has doubted not her but his father. He looks at the man and the feeling is there, that feeling of horror and anger. But he is torn because that is his father, and could a man who gave him life do something like that to someone he loves so much? He can't bring both sides of thought together yet. It feels surreal to him.

"And you were my best friend, I needed you, you need me now, I needed you then" Her eyes shake as she speaks to him. "Now, I am trying to move on, and you have to let me do that"

"What does that mean?" He wants to touch her and sooth her.

"It means you need to go"

"I'm falling apart without you"

"I've already fallen, now I am trying to pull it together" Bella says softly. "Please go"

* * *

**DUM DUM…**

**Edward is so blind and selfish!**

**Bella had a moment of weakness (for once in her life) and it turned out a good thing. Garrett is HOT**


End file.
